Why am I getting erections so frequently?

Dear J, 

It’s seems that something unexpected is standing at attention as you’re getting serious about your relationship! While there’s no clear answer as to whether your past masturbation and porn viewing habits played a role, rest assured that this is a common bodily response to your physical and mental affection for your girlfriend. When erections pop up uninvited, there are strategies you can try to navigate them, such as using something to cover the area or distracting yourself with nonsexual thoughts. A conversation with your girlfriend about your expectations of sexual intimacy might also help ease your worries. Read on to learn more about erections and some tips on how to deal with them when they pop up unannounced! 

How do erections happen? 

Erections can take place as your body responds to physical touch or to thoughts alone. The former type is called a reflexogenic erection, which happens when something touches your genitals or other erogenous zones and causes you to become aroused. The latter type is called a psychogenic erection, which takes place when your mind goes to sexual memories or fantasies. A third type of erection is nocturnal erections that take place during sleep.  

In all these cases, the physical or psychological stimuli lead your brain to send a signal to the muscles and other tissues in your penis, creating an erection. So, while erections can be sexual in nature, they’re normal to the human body and may simply indicate that you’re attracted to your girlfriend. 

Does frequently masturbating and viewing porn influence erections? 

Masturbation is common, whether it’s used as a tool to explore your sexuality without being intimate with a partner or as a way to pleasure yourself. Regarding how past masturbation and porn viewing habits influence erections, research hasn’t come to a solid conclusion yet. However, the studies that have been done have found little evidence for a connection between masturbation or porn consumption with sexual functioning.  

That said, it’s great that you’re being alert to the types of porn that you watched and aware of the fact that you didn’t agree with them. If you choose to watch porn again, you might be pleased to know that more ethical viewing options are available. These often involve safer and realistic sexual practices and highlight pleasure for all participants. Choosing these options may help you to feel better about what you’re consuming. 

How can you navigate unwanted erections in your relationship? 

Unexpected erections can feel very frustrating and embarrassing. The good news is that you’ve got a whole arsenal of options for times like these. Ultimately, staying calm can be your best approach for gaining control over them. You may consider some of the following strategies as well: 

• Use something to cover the area, like a long shirt, a backpack, or a book. 
• Distract yourself with some thoughts that aren’t sexually arousing, like solving a math problem or quietly reciting a speech or poem. You may also try out some meditation exercises.
• Change your body position or adjust clothing that might stimulate your genitals.  
• Wear underwear that’s a bit tighter, like briefs or boxer-briefs. These may help erections be less visible.  

You mention that you’ve discussed not having sex until marriage. However, it might be worthwhile to talk with your girlfriend about if or how you’d like to participate in sexual intimacy outside of that. For example, what does “sex” mean for each of you? Are there certain types of intimate acts that are acceptable to you before marriage? Would you be open to telling her about your concerns and preventing, or clearing up any misunderstandings? Having these conversations may help you to feel more comfortable when this concern does inevitably arise. 

In the end, erections are a natural part of your body, and they don’t necessarily mean that you’re intending to act on them.  

At ease soldier,