What's fisting?

Dear Just wondering,

It's understandable that you may not be up to speed on fisting. Chances are this technique wasn't covered during the birds and bees talk. Fisting is when a person puts their entire hand into another's anus or vagina. For those who enjoy this activity, it can be a highly intense and pleasurable experience for both the receiving and giving partner. People enjoy fisting for a variety of reasons, such as finding the feeling of fullness pleasurable, as a means of building intimacy and communication between partners, or simply for the pure fact that they enjoy the historically taboo nature of the act. While spontaneity can be great in other sexual encounters, this is an activity where doing some homework beforehand (no pun intended) can lead to a more enjoyable and safer experience for everyone involved. If choosing to engage in fisting, it can be important to have trust, open lines of communication, patience and frequent check-ins throughout the process… and lots and lots of lube.

Whether engaging in vaginal or anal fisting, lube is key. For vaginal fisting, water-based lube is a good choice since it’s generally non-irritating; silicone lube could also be used, as a thicker option. For anal play, an oil-, water-, or silicone-based lube can provide long-lasting lubrication. One disadvantage of oil-based lubes is that it can break down latex; that being said, another option can be to use nitrile gloves, which are oil-resistant. Another consideration is that oil-based lubricants can block pores and cause acne breakouts for those with sensitive skin.

There are other steps that can be taken to help reduce any potential risks. It’s best that the person doing the fisting have fingernails that are as short and smooth as possible to minimize any scratching. For further protection, gloves can act as a barrier against transmission of any sexually transmitted infections (STIs), and as a bonus, the material may make entry smoother.

For anal fisting, additional preparation can include having a bowel movement beforehand, cleaning yourself out with a douche (optional), and gradually using different size tapered toys (with a flared base) to eventually get used to the feeling of having a hand inserted. The latter

strategy may be especially helpful with anal fisting, as the anus does not stretch as easily as the vagina.

Once the receiving partner is ready, have the fisting partner insert their fingers, one at a time, into the vagina or anus, eventually entering the body with the hand in the shape of a duckbill. When reaching further in, the fingers might curl over the thumb to make a fist. In this situation, it might be good to have the receiving partner take the lead and let their partner know what feels good or doesn’t. Once the hand is inside, the fisting partner may try gently clenching and releasing the hand as if squeezing a stress ball to "fill up" the receiving partner.

While the sensation of fisting can be enjoyable for some if done right, it’s wise to engage in the act carefully as there can also be risks involved. Risks can range from more minor ones (coming into contact with fecal matter) to more serious ones (internal pain and tissue damage). In rare cases, fisting mishaps have led to the death of the receiving partner, which is why communication, taking it slow, and paying attention to any symptoms associated with the act are so key.

It’s also important to note that due to pressure of the vaginal wall or anus, the fisting partner may feel like their hand is being squeezed uncomfortably. If this happens, it's good to be careful not to jerk out the hand suddenly, which may hurt the receiving partner. It can be helpful to check in when it comes time to remove the fist so both partners are ready. Waiting for the receiving partner to orgasm might make it easier to remove the fist. To remove the hand, the fisting partner can gently uncurl the fist while sliding the hand out.

With patience, practice, and risk mitigation, fisting can be a fulfilling experience. It’s good to mention that if the receiving partner has any pain, fever, or bleeding afterwards, it's highly advised to seek medical care immediately—these symptoms may indicate a tear in the vagina or rectum. A health care provider can assess the symptoms and provide a diagnosis and treatment plan.

Hopefully this information helps you to feel more in the know the next time your friends bring up the topic.