What should I do after sex?

Dear Alice,

What do I do after sex? Should I just lay there? Should I talk about it?

Dear Reader,

Just as there is no "right" way to have sex, there is no "right" thing to do after sex. People do all different sorts of things after sex. Sometimes they just lay there. Sometimes they talk about the experience or how they each feel. People go to sleep, or get out of bed to go to the bathroom, or get ready for work, or turn on the TV, or do numerous other things.

Before deciding what to do, it might be a good idea to check in with your partner. 'Cuz what if you're thinking of falling asleep or watching TV, but your partner's feeling a need for some cuddling and intimate conversation? Or vice-versa? Something simple like, "Gosh, I'm really hungry and would love to get something to eat right now. What about you? How are you feeling? What would you like to do now?" would start the conversation, unless you hear snoring.

There are no "shoulds," only possibilities… have fun exploring.

Last updated Jul 16, 2014
Originally published Mar 09, 2001

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