What about emotional abuse?

Dear Confused-by-media,

It may seem that emotional abuse is just name calling, but emotional abuse is when someone hurts another person using words, actions, or attitudes. It’s often a pattern of severe and relentless behavior that can control, subdue, or isolate someone. Even though there might not be visible bruises, emotional abuse can have a deep and lasting effect on a person’s confidence, mental health, and sense of safety.  

Additionally, emotional abuse can happen in any type of relationship, such as partners, family members, friends, or coworkers. Read on to learn more about the different forms of emotional abuse, its health impacts, and resources for those experiencing emotional abuse.  

Is emotional abuse as harmful as physical abuse? 

Emotional abuse can definitely be as harmful as physical abuse. When emotional abuse goes unrecognized, it can have severe long-lasting impacts on mental and physical wellbeing. Since there is rarely physical evidence of emotional abuse, these behaviors might not immediately trigger any red flags. The result is that without any physical signs, emotional abuse can become easier to dismiss or excuse.  

Some health impacts of emotional abuse include:  

• Mental health: People who experience emotional abuse may develop conditions such as eating disorders, depression, anxiety, or post-traumatic stress disorder. Some may also struggle with low self-esteem or suicidal ideation.  
• Physical health: The stress caused by emotional abuse can also affect the body. People may experience fatigue, poor overall physical health, changes in appetite, or difficulty taking care of themselves. Additionally, some individuals may cope with emotional pain through self-harm.  
• Long-term health risks: When emotional abuse happens during childhood, the effects can last well into adulthood. Research suggests that experiencing emotional trauma early in life may raise the risk of developing chronic health conditions.  
• Developmental impacts: Children who experience emotional abuse may show signs of developmental regression. This means they may struggle emotionally, cognitively, or behaviorally. For example, they may have difficulty managing emotions, concentrating in school, or forming relationships with others.  

Even a single incident of emotional abuse can have a lasting impact. Being insulted or threatened once can make someone feel unsafe or deeply hurt. These moments can stay with a person and affect how they see themselves and their relationships. 

Are there different forms of emotional abuse? 

Emotional abuse can show up in different ways and might look different from one relationship to another. Since there aren’t physical marks left behind, it can also be hard to identify. Some common forms of emotional abuse include: 

• Verbal assault. This is when someone uses words to threaten, intimidate, or insult another person. The goal is to scare, pressure, or overpower the other person. Examples include constant belittling, threatening to cut off financial support, or threatening to harm loved ones.  
• Humiliation. This is when someone intentionally puts another person down to make the other person feel ashamed or embarrassed. This can include name-calling, yelling, or mocking someone’s appearance, intelligence, or worth. It may happen in private or in front of others.  
• Controlling behavior. This is when someone tries to limit another person’s freedom, independence, or access to support. The goal is to maintain power over them. Isolation and stalking are common ways this control shows up. Examples include requiring permission to go to places, tracking their location and making them feel watched, or restricting contact with friends or family.  
• Emotional neglect. This is the ongoing failure to respond to or care for someone’s emotional needs. It often involves withholding attention, support, or connection. Examples include refusing to communicate, withholding affection, or failing to take part in parenting responsibilities.  

Online spaces have also become a common place for emotional abuse to take place. Research shows that toxic online environments can amplify existing risks for young people, especially around anxiety, social pressure, and identity.  

What are some resources for people who have experienced emotional abuse? 

If you or someone you know is experiencing emotional abuse, support is available. Reaching out to people you trust or professional resources can help someone stay safe. You may also start to create a safety plan, which helps you think through ways to protect yourself if a situation becomes harmful.  This may include identifying safe places to go, people you can contact for help, and important items or documents you may need if you need to leave quickly. 

Additionally, some organizations provide confidential support, information, and help find local services. These organizations can be added to your safety plan:  

• National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE); this hotline offers free confidential support 24/7 through phone, chat, or text.  
• Domestic Shelters: This website helps people find nearby shelters and support programs for those experiencing relationship abuse.  

For those looking for emotional or mental support after emotional abuse, consider reaching out to a mental health professional. They can help someone process their experiences, rebuild confidence, and develop supportive coping strategies. 

Overall, emotional abuse can take many forms. While it’s often ignored or normalized, it can have lasting impacts on mental, physical, and developmental health. Recognizing the signs and knowing where to seek support can help you or your loved ones protect their safety.  

Take care,