Simultaneous orgasm for couple — Unusual?

Dear Alice,

When my girlfriend and I have sex, we almost always (nine times out of ten) orgasm within a few seconds of each other. Honest! This has been happening daily, with the exception of her periods, for about six months. We are both quite satisfied with each other as sexual partners. Are we an unusual couple? Thank you for your time.

— Curiously Satisfied

Dear Curiously Satisfied,

Oh my! Simultaneous or not... sharing orgasms with a partner can be loads of fun. For readers who might not be aware, "simultaneous orgasm" is a phrase that describes a moment when two people orgasm at the same time during a sexual encounter. So, you want to know if you and your girlfriend are an unusual couple. Well, there are some people that orgasm simultaneously pretty regularly; others orgasm at different times during the sexual experience; some orgasm simultaneously sometimes, but not always; and, some don't orgasm at all. When it comes to orgasming, there is no "typical" or "usual" experience. It's different for each person and partnership!

The media shows images that reinforce simultaneous orgasm as the best, or most ideal way for sexual experiences to culminate, and some people agree. In reality, however, orgasming together doesn't have to be the be all end all of sexual encounters. People don't need to strive for this experience, either. If in the future, you and your partner don't orgasm together, it doesn't mean that you both still couldn't enjoy the experience! Orgasms, no matter when/whether/how they occur, can give couples amazing pleasure. Variety can offer even more pleasure.

Some people really enjoy being involved in their partner's orgasms, rather than focusing on their own. Hearing, seeing, or feeling their partner's arousal, climax, and release can even send some of them over the edge along with, or right after, them.

Perhaps the precise timing of the "Big O" (or "smaller o"), or whether it even happens at all, is less critical than whether or not the partners are enjoying themselves and feeling pleasure. It might be fun for you both to experience other ways to give and receive pleasure, while having fun with each other — with or without perfect timing.

Last updated Oct 14, 2022
Originally published May 31, 1996

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