Simultaneous orgasm for couple — unusual?

Dear Alice,

When my girlfriend and I have sex, we almost always (nine times out of ten) orgasm within a few seconds of each other. Honest! This has been happening daily, with the exception of her periods, for about six months. We are both quite satisfied with each other as sexual partners. Are we an unusual couple? Thank you for your time.

— Curiously Satisfied

Dear Curiously Satisfied,

Oh my! Simultaneous or not... sharing orgasms with a partner can be loads of fun. For readers who might not be aware, "simultaneous orgasm" is a phrase that describes two people who orgasm at the same time during vaginal intercourse. So, you ask if you are an unusual couple. Well, some people orgasm simultaneously regularly; some orgasm at different times during the sexual experience; some orgasm simultaneously sometimes, but not at other times; and, some don't orgasm at all.

Media images show and reinforce simultaneous orgasm as the best, ultimate, or ideal way for sexual experiences to culminate, and some people agree. In reality, however, it is not, nor does it have to be, the gold standard. People do not need to strive for this experience, either. Sexual experiences and orgasms, no matter when/whether/how they occur, can give couples amazing pleasure. Variety can offer even more pleasure.

Some people enjoy being involved in their partner's orgasms, rather than focusing on their own. Hearing, seeing, or feeling their partner's arousal, climax, and release can even send some of them over the edge along with, or right after, them.

Perhaps the precise timing of the "Big O" (or "smaller o") is less critical than whether or not the partners are enjoying themselves and feeling pleasure. It might be fun for you both to experience other ways to give and receive pleasure, while having fun with each other — with or without perfect timing.

Last updated Nov 15, 2013
Originally published May 31, 1996

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