Post-anal sex — what about the ejaculate?

Dear Alice,

My fiance and I frequently enjoy anal sex. We no longer use condoms with each other during vaginal sex or anal sex. He enjoys ejaculating in me during anal sex and I don't mind it. Immediately afterwards I go to the bathroom and get out his cum, but sometimes it takes awhile for it to all come out. I'm wondering if this is OK to do or if it is harmful to my body because I do enjoy it and would like to continue. I just don't know anyone else who does this and wonder if it could harm me in any way. I've been wondering so much about it lately that I don't want to have anal sex anymore because I'm worried.

Dear Reader,

Sex and love can be messy, and whether or not you're in a committed relationship, one advantage of using condoms is that it keeps things clean in the aftermath (literally!). Condom use should always be encouraged until all partners have been tested for STIs and given a clean bill of health. Once you're past that, the good news is that semen is safe and simple; containing mostly water, fructose (a type of sugar), secretions from the prostate, testicles, and glands, and of course, sperm. Although some people can be allergic to their partner's semen, most don't have any bad of reaction to it, and ejaculated semen is harmlessly absorbed into the receiver's body. 

Signs of semen allergy include redness, burning, itching, and swelling on the body part that touched the semen. Those who have more severe reactions might have hives, itching all over the body, and difficulty in breathing. If you experience any of those symptoms, you might want to see your health care provider right away to make sure it doesn't get worse. If you are still worried about the risks of ejaculation into your anus, you might want to discuss it with your fiancé to figure out alternatives to this, such as using a condom only for anal sex, or having him pull out before he ejaculates. Keep in mind that semen may still come out of his penis while he is inside you, though there won't be as much of it.

As long as you're both free of infections, there is really no harm in having your fiancée ejaculate during unprotected anal sex. There is also nothing wrong with going to the bathroom to get the semen out after the deed is done, although it is not necessary. Best of luck keeping it clean!  

Last updated Apr 13, 2015
Originally published Jan 16, 2009

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