No pre-cum

Dear Alice,

My boyfriend doesn't "pre-cum." Could there be something wrong? Or is it common? All the other guys I have been with have not had this problem.

—Missing the love drops

Dear Missing the love drops,

When things heat up between the sheets, it’s common to feel damp down below. However, both men and women vary in the amount of moisture produced during arousal, so it’s completely normal if your boyfriend is a bit on the dry side.

Soon after getting an erection, you may notice a few drops of liquid come out of your guy's penis. This pre-ejaculatory fluid, known as pre-cum, may appear as a steady trickle or a tiny droplet — the flow varies from man to man. In your boyfriend’s case, perhaps the amount is not enough to notice (especially if you're both busy...). You may want to try lathering on some bottled lube if you miss the extra love drops.

Before you start having sex (vaginal, oral, or anal), it’s wise to put on a condom, as that pre-cum (even a wee amount you can't see) might contain a few stray sperm and/or germs that could transmit sexually transmitted infections including HIV. Pregnancy and HIV transmission, however, are much less likely from exposure to pre-cum compared to a full ejaculation. For more specifics on the role of pre-cum in pregnancy and STIs, check out Is pulling out safe? from the Go Ask Alice! archives.

No two sexual experiences or partners are alike, so it’s natural that your boyfriend has his own way of warming up. If you’re still pondering pre-cum, take a look at the Related Q&As below.

Last updated Jul 02, 2015
Originally published Jan 19, 1995

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