How can I start dating?

Dear More for the Sophomore,

The social landscape of college can feel overwhelming, especially when it seems like everyone has it figured out. But there's a lot you can do to make this year feel different. Getting involved in activities and clubs on campus, being open when a connection feels right, and knowing what you're looking for are the useful places to start. While this doesn't guarantee you will start dating, it may lead to opportunities to meet new people and build community on campus. 

What are some ways to put yourself out there? 

College is a good place for meeting people since it's a built-in community with shared spaces, and a high density of people of similar ages. Getting involved in clubs, organizations, or campus activities can be a great way to meet new people and have conversations naturally. 

Connections don't have to start in a formal setting to turn into something meaningful. You can also explore everyday settings like coffee shops and community events, where connections can develop more naturally. When starting a conversation, it may help to focus on whether you enjoy their company. This could help make the interaction feel less like an audition. 

Dating apps are also a common way for people to connect. You may present yourself in a way that feels authentic to you. Being authentic on your profile can help you build genuine connections with people who share similar interests. That being said, it’s also good to be mindful about how much personal information you share online. There are resources available to help you make safe decisions while dating! 

What are you looking for romantically? 

Before putting yourself out there, it helps to have a sense of what you’re looking for. Approaching dating with curiosity can make the experience enjoyable. Dating can become more difficult when it’s driven by loneliness or pressure. It might help to ask yourself:  

• What would a good connection look like for you right now?  
• Are you looking to casually date, meet new people, or build a more serious relationship? 
• What might have stopped you from building friendly connections last year?  

There are no right or wrong answers, but having a general sense of what you're looking for makes it easier to recognize when you find it. 

How can you ask someone out? 

When you meet someone that you find interesting, you can let them know you've enjoyed their company and ask if they'd want to spend time together again. It’s a low-pressure way to open the door to more social interactions with that person. 

Suggesting something casual, like grabbing coffee or attending a campus event, is enough to signal interest without making it feel intimidating. Sincerity goes further than the perfect pick-up line or idea for a date. 

What if it doesn't go the way you hoped? 

Dating can lead to a variety experiences and emotions. Sometimes it’s exciting, and sometimes it’s disappointing. Fear of rejection, concerns about making someone else feel uncomfortable, and confusion about how dating progresses are all valid. These are also common factors that stop people from putting themselves out there.  

It's also okay for things to move slowly. People start dating at different points, and sophomore year can still be full of meaningful relationships. Approaching people with genuine curiosity, rather than evaluating each interaction as a win or a loss, tends to open more doors than it closes. 

If worries around dating feel distressing, consider consulting a mental health professional. Many counseling centers also offer workshops specifically focused on social connection and relationship anxiety. 

Here's to new connections,