Is male virginity detectable?

(1) Dear Alice,

Simply I want to know (excuse me for my english, but I'm an Italian boy) how a male can be recognized as virgin. My friends say that the frenulum broke when you do for the first time...it's true?

Your Little Confused Italian

(2) Dear Alice,

I was reading the question about male virginity recognition and got a doubt. Is it possible to detect that a man is virgin of anal sex, i mean, has ever done anal sex?

Dear Little Confused Italian and Reader,

No matter what language you speak, male virginity (or the lack thereof) cannot be detected. What leads you to ask? Are you weighing the pros and cons of having sex for the first time? It’s great that you are doing your research! Oftentimes, friends have good intentions, but the information they provide may not be 100 percent accurate.

In uncircumcised males, the frenulum (the loose piece of skin just below the tip on the underside of the penis) is sometimes tight. When this is the case, erections, masturbation, and sexual activities of all kinds may be painful or cause bleeding because the frenulum can tear. However, this is not an indication of virginity or non-virginity. The treatment for a tight frenulum is a very minor surgery that lengthens the frenulum a centimeter or so. This procedure involves a local anesthesia and dissolving stitches and can be done in the doctor’s office. It generally doesn’t even require any pain medication beyond the local anesthesia.

With regards to anal sex, virginity also cannot be detected (in any gender). The anus stretches during sex, but it soon contracts back to its regular size after sexual activity is over. An individual who has anal sex for the first time may notice that the anus feels differently than during subsequent times. For example, if you have a positive experience with anal sex, your anal muscles may tend to relax more easily over time, allowing for easier stretching during sex. But this change in muscles would probably only be detectable to you.

It is worth noting that the idea that female virginity is always “detectable” is also something of a myth. The hymen (the membrane that covers the interior of the vagina) can break during all sorts of non-sexual activities.


Last updated Jul 14, 2015
Originally published Nov 08, 1996

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