Girlfriend gets too wet


When making love with my girlfriend, she says she gets too wet, doesn't like it, and would like to know if there is anything she can do to lessen the wetness just a bit.

— Caring

Dear Caring, 

It’s great that you and your girlfriend are comfortable communicating about her needs and preferences during sex! Regarding your question, your girlfriend’s excessive wetness while making love could be attributed to many distinct causes. Assuming she has a uterus and a vagina, the wetness that you mentioned could be from natural responses during sexual arousal or even from daily life that secretes fluids from different glands (more on this later). Another possibility is fluids from ejaculation, squirting, or coital incontinence. There's also the potential that it could be caused by a different medical condition which may require the input of her health care provider. Either way, discussing her concerns together or seeking professional advice might be ways to ease her discomfort. 

It's estimated that between 10 to 54 percent of women (terminology used in during the study) report wetness during sexual activities. Several fluids can be expelled from the vagina during sex including any of the following: 

  • Lubrication fluid (LF) - this is produced naturally by the vagina and typically shows up as a clear thin liquid made of mostly water. On average, a person secretes one and a half grams of LF every 8 hours. The amount of LF secreted increases dramatically during sexual arousal and is associated with being satisfied during sexual activities. LF comes from the Bartholin’s glands, which are near the opening to the vagina. 
  • Female ejaculation (FE) fluids - unlike lubrication fluid, these fluids are only expelled a few milliliters at a time during orgasm. The substance is milky or white and comes from the paraurethral (Skene's) glands. While the function of FE fluid is unknown, it’s thought that it might have antimicrobial properties. 
  • Squirting or gushing (SQ) fluids - these are related to the bladder and urine. SQ fluid is clear or yellow in color and is released quickly when expelled, distinguishing it from FE fluid. SQ is thought to be involuntary and can occur during an orgasm. 
  • Coital incontinence (CI) - this is also involuntary and is a release of urine during sexual intercourse. Around 10 to 67 percent of women who have urinary incontinence, or involuntary urination, also experience coital incontinence. CI is often an unpleasant experience and may also occur as a result of pain or discomfort during sex. 

Besides arousal-related fluids, vaginal discharge could also be the cause of wetness. Like LF, discharge is expelled from the vagina regularly. However, discharge differs from LF in that it’s produced by the uterus, cervix, and vagina as a self-cleaning process and usually contains cells and bacteria. Discharge can also change depending on the stages of the menstrual cycle. 

  • Normal discharge may be clear and watery and can occur at any point in the cycle. The volume of this discharge might increase after exercise. 
  • During the beginning and end of the menstrual cycle, the discharge might be thick and white like a milky substance. 
  • At the ovulation stage, discharge can be clear and stretchy. 

However, other types of discharge might indicate another problem: 

  • If discharge causes itching or is yellow, green, clumpy, or has a bad smell, these could be signs of infection. 
  • Brown or red discharge could be spotting from a period or implantation bleeding from pregnancy. 

List adapted from Sutter Health 

If any vaginal discharge seems abnormal or causes a rash, pain, or other discomfort you may consider speaking with a medical professional. 

Besides natural responses or potential infections, other causes that may affect how your girlfriend feels are self-esteem, intimacy, and communication in a sexual relationship. Body image may have a role to play especially if people may feel self-conscious or uncomfortable about their bodies during sexual activities. Being open with your girlfriend about her feelings of unease and how they relate to her body and your sexual relationship might bring some insight into the causes of discomfort. 

Whether your girlfriend’s wetness is caused by a clinical condition or a more personal struggle, speaking with her or with a health care provider might provide some solutions to reducing the discomfort she feels. Supporting her through this is a great way to show that you care! 

Last updated Jul 28, 2023
Originally published Feb 10, 1995

Submit a new comment


This question is for testing whether or not you are a human visitor and to prevent automated spam submissions.

The answer you entered for the CAPTCHA was not correct.