Girlfriend gets too wet


When making love with my girlfriend, she says she gets too wet, doesn't like it, and would like to know if there is anything she can do to lessen the wetness just a bit.

— Caring


Dear Caring,

Vaginal lubrication during sex is usually a good indicator of arousal. Many women get very wet when aroused, while others have difficulties getting wet enough for pleasurable intercourse. The volume of fluid can vary greatly from person to person, and can fluctuate for a woman throughout her menstrual cycle. Other factors that can affect vaginal secretions include diet, stress, medications, certain types of birth control methods (including hormonal and intrauterine devices), infections, and pregnancy.

Has your girlfriend always gotten this wet? Is there any odor or other symptoms associated with her wetness? Though variations corresponding to changes in hormone levels are to be expected, a sudden change in color, odor, consistency or amount can indicate a larger medical issue. A few possible medical issues associated with excessive wetness include cervicitis, atrophic vaginitis, bacterial vaginosis, a sexually transmitted infection (STI), or a yeast infection. She may want to speak to a health care provider to make sure there is no cause for concern, and it’s especially recommended if she’s experiencing other symptoms such as fever, pain, or burning upon urination.

You mention that your girlfriend doesn’t like getting so wet. What doesn’t she like about it? If there isn’t enough friction during sex to feel pleasurable, you can consider trying new positions together. For example, she could try keeping her legs together after you’ve entered her. You could also try putting a towel down to soak up some of the extra wetness, and keep a towel (micro-fiber might be more comfortable) on hand to dry off each other's genitals periodically during sex. Drying agents, such as powders, and the use of feminine products such as douches, sprays, or scents, are not recommended as they can wash away the healthy bacteria lining the vagina and cause irritation, and even increase the likelihood of contracting an STI.

If it’s not friction that she's worried about, is she feeling self-conscious about the wetness? Communicating with your partner that you are willing to help and that it’s not a deterrent to having sex with her can let your partner know that you care and may help her feel less self-conscious about the wetness. Continue the conversation so that you and your partner can work together in creating a pleasurable sexual experience.  

Hope this helps!

Last updated Feb 22, 2013
Originally published Feb 10, 1995

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