Does hymen replacement surgery exist?

Dear Reader, 

Time to chime in on the hymen! Despite misleading phrases like “popping the cherry” and “deflowering,” the relationship between the hymen and sexual intercourse is less straightforward than you may think. Contrary to popular beliefs, the way someone’s hymen looks or feels won’t indicate anything about their sexual history. Although there are surgeries to reconstruct the hymen, they’re not recommended by many health care providers. Additionally, undergoing surgery to alter your hymen doesn’t guarantee that you’ll bleed from sexual intercourse. If you’re concerned about bleeding, alternatives to surgery exist, such as timing intercourse with menstruation so that there’s blood present. Read on to separate fact from fiction about the hymen and virginity! 

What’s the hymen? 

The hymen is a small, elastic tissue that surrounds the opening of the vagina and has no known function. The way the hymen looks and how much of the vaginal opening it covers varies from person to person. Hymens also vary throughout people’s lives, with age and changes in hormones—regardless of sexual activity! 

What are some myths associated with the hymen? 

Many people falsely believe that a hymen that covers more of the vaginal opening is proof of “virginity” and that a hymen that’s more “open” is proof of someone having had sex. There is no physical way to prove someone is a virgin because “virginity” is a social and cultural idea rather than a medical condition. Although the hymen can be affected by penetration of the vagina, this doesn’t mean that all changes are permanent. This is because the hymen is elastic, so it may stretch and then return to its earlier appearance. 

Another common myth is that somebody’s first time experiencing vaginal penetration causes them to bleed. The mistaken belief is that the hymen “pops” or “breaks” when the vagina’s first penetrated. However, the hymen’s elasticity and low number of blood vessels means that most people don’t experience bleeding because of the hymen. Although some people with vaginas do bleed from sexual intercourse, this is typically caused by small injuries within the vagina due to not enough lubrication or penetration that’s too forceful, rather than injury to the hymen. 

So, not only does hymen appearance vary naturally, but the assumptions that many people make about intercourse changing the hymen are false! 

Can you surgically reconstruct the hymen? 

Because of the prevalence of myths about the hymen and intercourse, there are surgical procedures that claim to “repair” or “restore” the hymen. These procedures aim to make the hymen cover more of the vaginal opening so that it’s less “open” and more likely to cause bleeding from intercourse. However, most people who receive these surgeries do not bleed from their first time having penetrative sex after surgery. Generally, health care providers do not recommend undergoing these medically unnecessary surgeries on the hymen and insurance plans won’t cover them. 

What are some alternatives to surgery? 

Given the expectations you seem to be navigating, the decisions you make can be stressful and deeply personal. However, it may be helpful to discuss the truth about hymens with your fiancé. Consider explaining that somebody’s hymen may look any number of ways, that intercourse may not cause them to bleed, and that they can still be a “virgin.” As previously stated, “Virginity” isn’t a scientific term or medical condition. It’s a social and cultural label describing somebody who has not had sex. 

If you feel that you’re safely able to, discussing your past experiences with intercourse and sexuality may bring you two closer together and help to build trust in each other—which could make for a great start to your marriage! 

If you don’t feel comfortable having these discussions with your fiancé, there are options other than surgery. Doing Kegel exercises may help give the sensation that the vaginal canal is “tighter.” You might try to schedule your wedding to coincide with your period if you’re hoping to ensure bleeding. Alternatively, if you’re taking hormonal birth control, you could alter your use of the pills to bring about or delay your period for the day you tie the knot! Ultimately, the decision is yours. 

It’s understandable that this situation may cause you to stress or worry, and it’s okay to feel uncertain about how to move forward. However, you’re not alone in this experience—you may find it useful to seek support from trusted loved ones, or a mental health provider who you can discuss your concerns with further. 

Best of luck,