Is collecting necessarily hoarding?

Dear Reader, 

Some people find throwing things away to be difficult because items hold value for many different reasons. Maybe you save an old phone charger just in case it’s needed in the future, or you keep a concert ticket because it reminds you of a good memory. Keeping things that others might throw away doesn’t mean you have hoarding disorder. However, if getting rid of things causes significant emotional distress or you have so many belongings that you can’t properly use your space, it might be time to talk to a mental health professional.   

What’s the difference between collecting and hoarding? 

Some items may be worth keeping. However, it may be helpful to think about how your habits are affecting your daily life. Collecting usually involves choosing items around a particular interest. People can generally organize and enjoy their collections without them negatively interfering with everyday life. 

Hoarding disorder is a mental health condition where someone has a persistent hard time getting rid of possessions, even when they have little or no practical value. The difficulty isn’t simply about having “too much stuff.” It can be tied to the way someone thinks about, feels about, and relates to their belongings. For someone with hoarding disorder, an object may feel much more important than it appears to someone else. Some people may feel that throwing something away means losing a memory, wasting something valuable, or making a decision they’ll regret. Getting rid of possessions can bring up strong anxiety, guilt, sadness, or a feeling of loss. These feelings can make even small decisions about what to keep or discard feel overwhelming.  

Living spaces can also become so cluttered that you can’t easily move around your home. In some cases, it can also become unsanitary depending on the items. This might make someone unlikely to socialize in their own home or can make living with others difficult.  

Can a parent’s hoarding habits affect my own habits? 

People may develop a hoarding disorder for many reasons. Research suggests that genetics, life experiences, family environment, and patterns of thinking and behavior may all play a role. Having a parent with hoarding disorder doesn’t mean you’ll develop it yourself.  

However, growing up around hoarding behaviors may influence the way you think about and use your own belongings. For example, you might learn behaviors of holding on to things because you saw a parent place a lot of value on keeping items or worry about wasting things. 

How can you tell if your habit of keeping things may be a problem? 

You don’t have to wait until you feel overwhelmed to speak with a mental health professional. Sometimes, getting another perspective can help you understand your habits and decide whether you want to make any changes. 

It may be helpful to reach out if you: 

• Feel very upset or anxious when you try to throw things away.  
• Have a hard time deciding what to keep and what to let go.  
• Can’t comfortably use rooms or shared spaces.  
• Avoid having friends or family over because of your belongings.  
• Often argue with friends, roommates, or family about your things.  
• Have safety concerns because of clutter.  

You might ask yourself: Can I use my space comfortably? Can the people I live with use shared spaces? When I decide I don’t need something, can I let it go?  

What if you want to get better at letting things go? 

For people with hoarding behaviors, speaking with a mental health professional and building strategies may help make letting go feel more manageable. Some options they might suggest include: 

• Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT): This method can help you understand the thoughts and feelings that make letting go difficult and practice making decisions about what to keep or discard. 
• Self-reflection: Taking time to think about why you want to make a change can help you make choices for yourself rather than feeling pressured by family or friends. 
• Building executive functioning skills: You may practice sorting, organizing, and making decisions about your belongings. 
• Gradual decluttering: Working through your belongings a little at a time can help you make progress without feeling like you have to get rid of everything at once. 

Being willing to part with your belongings, even if they’re no longer useful, can be tough. With small steps and the right support, you can keep the things that are meaningful while making room for a space where you feel comfortable, safe, and at home. 

Making room for what matters,