Can breaking my penis affect its size?

Dear Alice,

Ok, I have a question. This goes along with the subject. I am older now but when I was about nine or ten, me and my friends used to rough house a lot, but sometimes I would accidentally get kneed in my penis and gentle areas, and I was wonderin' if it's normal for me to have a four inch dick, and that when my sperm comes out, it just rolls over and it's cleared? I want to know what's up with that and if there is any way I can get my penis to grow? I think b/c I got kneed kinda a lot there that it stopped my growth? I have had sex once. I have many offers, but I turned them down because I think my dick is too small. I was having sex and it was my first time so I needed some walk throughs, she said she didn't care about penis size, but when I was having intercourse, she made little moans and groans, but I don't think I was pleasing her and it made me feel bad. Why do I have to have a small dick? What can I do? I'll pay anything to get it bigger. Thank you so much. I appreciate this so much.

Dear Reader,

Although you may feel self-conscious about the size of your penis, rest assured you are normal. Lots of men worry that their penis isn't long enough, or that it's too long and difficult for a partner to handle. There is no approved or reliable method of making your penis grow, a much more effective tactic would be to get comfortable with what you've got. Once you're comfortable, you can really work it!

Now then, onto your questions. It's unlikely that roughhousing during your childhood stopped your penis from growing or affected the way it releases semen (the fluid containing sperm). However, if you continue to feel worried, or if you ever have any pain, you could see a health care provider. If you don't have a regular health care provider you could visit a Planned Parenthood center. These clinics have many health care providers — male and female — who are knowledgeable about people's sexual health and reproductive systems, including the penis. You may find it helpful to talk to a counselor about your anxiety around this issue.

As for the length of your penis, you are perfectly normal. Penises come in many different sizes. The AVERAGE erect penis length is about six inches (meaning that many guys' penises are shorter than six inches and many guys' penises are longer then six inches). Also, if you are still growing, it's possible that your penis will also continue to grow.

What's good to remember is that penis size is not the key to men pleasing their lovers. In the case of sex with a woman, which you raise, the vagina is elastic and can tightly accommodate a big or a small penis (in fact, it can snugly accommodate something as small as a finger). Also, the length of the average vagina is only about three inches (it lengthens a little during intercourse), and nerve endings are concentrated at the opening of a woman's vagina — meaning length may be lost on the typical vagina. Keep in mind that for women nerve endings are most concentrated in the clitoris, on the outside of the vulva, above the vaginal opening. Many women find that clitoral stimulation, as part of foreplay, or as part of the main event, is most effective at helping them achieve pleasure. You may find that a successful strategy in pleasuring the object of your affection is asking her what she enjoys.

Also, sex isn't about competition (who's bigger, who's better); it's about sharing, communicating, intimacy, and pleasure. So, the best lovers are not guys who have the biggest "equipment" or the best "technique." The best lovers are the people who are best at communicating with their partners — finding out what pleases her/him, telling her/him you like, sharing about how they each like and don't like to be touched, etc. So instead of worrying about the size of your penis, consider talking openly and honestly about sex with a partner. You may find a partner of yours likes your penis just the way it is. 

Finally, it's a misconception, possibly rooted in scenes from unrealistic pornography, that semen needs to "spurt" out of the penis. This is not the case for many boys and men. Semen can dribble, ooze out, flow a little, or spurt; any of these types of ejaculation are normal. 

Bottom line is, again, you are normal. Hope this is a relief to you.

Last updated May 12, 2015
Originally published Jul 28, 2005

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