What happens during anal sex?

Dear Thinking about the back door, 

For many people, anal sex can be uncharted territory with a whole host of confusions and concerns. Contrary to what many think, anal sex typically takes place far away from poop, which is stored further inside the digestive tract than what can be reached during intercourse. This means that the penetrating partner generally will not touch or feel any waste products, so try not to let the thought of a mess get you stressed! While douching can be an additional way to clean leftover waste in the region where anal sex takes place, it’s not a necessity for having satisfying anal sex. 

What is anal sex?  

Anal sex can include touching the outside of the anus, as well as penetrating the anus with a penis, finger, tongue, or toy. During penetration, what is penetrating the anus will typically go into the anal canal—this connects the rectum to the anus. Depending on the length of whatever’s penetrating, the penetration may continue through to the rectum. Many people enjoy anal sex because the anus, anal canal, and rectum are lined with nerve endings that can produce feelings of pleasure when they’re stimulated. In people assigned male at birth, the rectum is next to the prostate gland, which is also full of nerve endings and can result in experiencing pleasure when touched or rubbed during anal sex. 

How can you prepare for anal sex? 

Since the anus is the region where waste leaves the body, it may help you to feel more comfortable to prepare before hooking up. General hygiene before anal sex can include: 

• passing a bowel movement around half an hour to an hour before sex. 
• taking a shower and paying special attention to the anus. 
• using baby wipes to clean the anus. 

 What is douching? 

As you mentioned, some people also choose to “douche” before anal sex. Douching usually involves injecting a small amount of water into the anal canal and rectum, holding the water for 10 to 15 seconds, then releasing it.  

Although this is commonly done using an enema device, douching and enemas are not the same thing. With an enema, people insert more fluid into the anus. This fluid often contains salts or other chemicals and is intended to be held inside for as long as possible before being released, typically for around ten minutes. Enemas are used to stimulate bowel movements and flush out the entire colon, whereas douching is only used to get rid of waste matter that may be left over in the rectum.  

Is douching safe? 

Although douching is generally safe, doing it often may have some unwanted impacts. Frequently douching can damage the lining of the anal canal and rectum, which increases your risk of infections, including sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Using warm water only, without soaps or salts, is a safer option to avoid injuring this lining. If using a typical enema device to douche, this means pouring out the fluid, then rinsing and filling the device with warm water. 

 Is douching necessary? 

No, douching is not necessary for anal sex. Although the rectum can sometimes contain poop, most waste is stored further up in the digestive tract, far away from where anal sex happens. Going to the bathroom before having anal sex is usually enough to empty the rectum. While douching can help remove any waste left over in the anal canal and rectum, there usually isn’t much there after passing a bowel movement anyway.  

What are other factors to consider before anal sex? 

You can further decrease the possibility of poop remnants by eating more fiber—like whole grains, fruits and vegetables, and fiber supplements—and drinking more fluids. This helps poop form in larger pieces that are easier to pass, reducing the possibility of residue. 

It’s a good idea to use a barrier method, such as a condom, when having anal sex. Bacteria from poop can lead to sickness and infection, such as a urinary tract infection (UTI). Using a barrier method like a condom can help protect against both the spread of STIs and any accidental mess. 

At the end of the day, though, crap happens. Any sex can be messy and communicating with your partner(s) beforehand about your concerns, expectations, and desires is the best way to relax and enjoy.  

Hope this response was a hole-in-one!