Week of:
Dec 01, 2017

Should I get tested for HIV?


My boyfriend and I have been sexually active for nine months... He's the first guy I've ever been with this way. He's been with a couple other girls and was tested for HIV about two years ago. After he'd been tested, he had been with one other girl. He thinks it's a good idea if he gets tested, but because he knows I've never been with anyone else, he doesn't think I need to be tested... What do you think? I think I should be tested, just to be safe.

Condoms protect against HIV?

Dear Alice,

I have a friend who is very religious and has been telling his children that since the HIV virus is so much smaller than the pores in a condom, it affords no protection, thereby making abstinence the only option that makes sense. Is there any truth to this story whatsoever, or is he just using this as an excuse to scare his kids? (Not that I would go around his wishes with his family — just curious.)

— Atheist

Safer sex with someone who is HIV positive

Hello Alice,

I am very grateful for your website forum. I am a twenty-something gay professional male. I have recently fallen head-over-heals for a guy who has disclosed his HIV-positive status which he contracted three years ago. The virus has not progressed into AIDS.

I would like to know how I might practice safer-sex with him. We have had intercourse using traditional safe-sex measures (i.e. condom) and I have received oral sex from him as well. How safe, if at all, is it for me to return the favour? What things should I avoid besides the obvious not having unprotected sex?

Thank you,
In love with the man, not the virus.