Week of:
Aug 30, 2019

Wants girlfriend to masturbate

Dear Alice,

I have a rather strange question.

My girlfriend does not masturbate. We've talked about it a few times, and she has basically said that she would like to be able to masturbate, but can't get the feeling that it's "dirty" or "wrong" out of her head. She has no problem with me masturbating (she enjoys it, actually) -- but she simply can't get herself to do it. Any suggestions to help her feel more comfortable with herself and her body?

— Argh

Father and son talk masturbation

Dear Alice,

I am sorry if I seem maybe over-worried or so but I have a situation that I am not sure how to deal with and I need someone's help. I am a forty-two-year-old male, and I am not into masturbating. I am not sure why. As a kid, I was taught it was a bad thing to do and I was always afraid. I have two sons, one fourteen and another nine. I was getting ready to go to work the other day and I walked into the bathroom and my oldest son was sitting down on the toilet masturbating. I was deeply shocked and my son was deeply embarrassed. I did not know what to make of it. I did not know what to do about it so my son and I had a discussion alone about it. He said he has been masturbating for awhile, maybe a year, about everyday. He says it is something to him that is hard to drop, and sometimes it causes his penis to hurt, sting. He is not circumcised and he said he noticed that he had been getting red tiny veins on his penis and he was worried about it. I did not know what to do about it because I am circumcised and that has never really happened to me. I feel I didn't handle the conversation well because I was shocked and I don't know what to think of it. He seemed worried about it. Can masturbating affect his penis with the symptoms he has? What should I do or think about it? I wish I wasn't so inexperienced about this subject, and my son does not wish for me to talk to anyone about it, so I have turned to someone I don't know to spare his embarrassment. I would greatly appreciate it if you could answer this because I don't know what to do about it. And I am quite worried about it. Thank you.

D