Younger partner hot for senior citizens

Dear Alice,

I cannot stop fantasizing about having sex with very old women. I recently picked up a 65-year-old in a bar and had the best orgasm of my life with her. I am 40 and now can't stop thinking of geriatric sex — is there something wrong with me and if not, where can I meet more likeminded pensioners?

Dear Reader,

As they say, age is just a number. Who’s to say that fortysomethings and hexegenerians (a.k.a., those in the 60+ years category) can’t get it on? Age differences between partners might raise some people’s eyebrows because it's not considered the "norm." To that end, some folks might not want to accept that older people are sexual and sexually desired. But, if both you and your partner enjoyed your time together, getting passionate with a pensioner is a perfectly acceptable way to explore and enjoy your sexuality.

So, is it really all that uncommon to be in a relationship with someone who’s got a couple more decades under the belt than you? When it comes to heterosexual marriages, it turns out that it is: although popular culture loves to feature those cougar/cub stories, data from the U.S. Census Bureau show that, in reality, less than one percent of heterosexual marriages are between a man and a woman who is 20 or more years his senior. An older man marrying a younger woman is slightly more common, but the rate still hovers around one percent. It's good to keep in mind that this data is significantly limited and only representative of one group of folks. There is currently no census data about those who are unmarried or those in same-sex relationships/marriages.

While your preference for older women might not be common, it doesn’t mean it’s wrong. In fact, you might even discover benefits to seeking the sexual solace of a golden-ager. Maybe sex is more fun, or kinkier, or more tender. Maybe you’ll learn some new bedroom tricks from your more mature mate. Maybe you’ll find that you have amazing pillow talk about how the world has changed since the times of yore. At the end of the day, though, there are still universal qualities for healthy relationships that apply to an intergenerational rendezvous: as long as you and your partner(s) feel respected and safe, communicate openly, and are consenting adults — the details of with whom, when, and where you are intimate are totally up to the two of you!

Now, where would someone like yourself go about finding sultry senior citizens? Both on- and off-line options abound. For example, you could try a traditional online dating site and specify in your profile that you’re looking for an older partner. You may even find that there are dating sites specifically geared toward younger folk seeking more mature partners (there’s does seem to be a niche dating site out there for everyone!). Other hotspots for meeting that special person could include continuing education classes, a local community center, bookstores, libraries, the supermarket, volunteering organizations, town meetings, political events, and maybe at the polls on Election Day.

One last piece of advice: you might consider avoiding the words "very old women" in your quest for senior sex (other words to avoid include old maid, fogey, and granny). After all, these dames may consider themselves 65-years-young! 


Last updated Nov 06, 2015
Originally published Feb 23, 2001

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