Scared about partner's graduation

Dear Scared in love,

It's great that you've found someone with whom you have a strong connection. Ultimately, when it comes to determining what his plans are and what he's thinking, the only way to know for sure is to ask him about his post-graduation plans and what he sees for your relationship. You seem to know how you'd like to move forward after his graduation, so learning more about his thoughts and plans may help to quell your anxiety. 

Long distance relationships, if both people invest in them with tools such as phone calls, video chatting, texting, e-mail, letters, and occasional visits, can totally work. The challenge of long distance may even strengthen your relationship in the long run, or free up some of your personal time to focus on activities that are meaningful to you. It will take some work, but there are plenty of examples of successful relationships that have endured a period of distance. In life and in love, however, there are no guarantees. You may find that a long distance relationship makes one or both of you unhappy, or that distance causes you grow apart in ways that are ultimately bittersweet but perhaps healthy for you both. All of the above can apply to romantic relationships as well as close friendships.

You seem to have a lot of thoughts and feelings to sort out. Have you talked with your partner about your feelings and concerns about the relationship as his graduation approaches? Has he indicated whether he'd be interested in this relationship long-term? How about making some notes about how you would like the conversation to go before talking with him? Has he brought the subject up with you? If you decide to have a conversation, or the first of several, be sure to plan a time when you can both be fully present and not rushed. Key life decisions deserve time to be discussed.

Now, in preparation you may want to give yourself the opportunity to talk about these and other feelings in a safe, unbiased way first. A trusted friend, family member, or mental health professional may fill that need. It may take some courage to go talk about your feelings and concerns with another person; however, you may find that the benefits, including developing some insight and a sense of personal power within your relationship, are worth it. You can also check out some other long distance questions from readers to learn more about other perspectives.

You aren't alone in concerns about relationships after graduation. Times of transition are often filled with anxiety and potentially conflicting feelings. Congrats again for having a solid relationship and for getting started on this thought process.