Dear Alice,

I see that a lot of people are pondering whether to spit or swallow during oral sex. The whole thing kind of grosses me out. Is it OK to do the deed with a condom present? Is it less pleasurable for the guy?



Dear Curious,

It may feel just great to some, while others will say they can't feel very much at all. One way to find out for sure is to ask.

The most critical feelings here, however, are yours. If the idea or reality of tasting, spitting, or swallowing ejaculate, or oral sex in general, makes your stomach turn, then how enjoyable can giving oral sex to your partner's point of no return really be for you? Condoms are a reliable option for keeping your partner's semen out of your mouth, not to mention the protection they give against the passing of sexually transmitted infections, such as gonorrhea and herpes. Still keeping your partner's penis on the back burner for a minute, how will a condom — dry, flavored, or otherwise — go over with your taste buds? Like a partner's preferences regarding rubberized fellatio, some folks don't mind the taste of a condom, while others would rather suck on a dirty sponge. If you can get your hands on a condom, the answer to this one is easy: slip that baby over your three middle fingers and do a taste test.

Now back to your concerns about tasting and swallowing semen. Know that giving oral sex and receiving your partner's ejaculate don't have to come as a package deal. For example, a partner can pull out prior to climax, or they can notify their partner when their about to come so that they can stand clear. You may want to also take a look at the related Q&As for some more ideas on how to handle this situation.

Talking about feelings, options, and what one will and won't do sexually — BEFORE you find yourself doing it — can cut worries about what you might be asked to do in the heat of the moment. The good news is that if something doesn't feel right to you now, or in the future, you don't have to do it.


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