1) Dear Alice,

I enjoy performing cunnilingus on my partner and she enjoys receiving it as well. Are there any techniques that can help me increase the pleasure she receives from oral sex? Where could I find books relating to this subject?

— Oral Man

2) Dear Alice,

I'm a Spanish student with a vital question for you: I don't know what is a "muffy diving."

Dear Oral Man and Reader,

“Muff diving” and “going down” on someone are slang terms for cunnilingus, or the act of using the mouth to stimulate the vulva or clitoris. However, if the person you’re going down on is named Muffy, it could probably also be called “Muffy diving!” Whatever name you choose to give it, cunnilingus can be fun to give and pleasurable to receive. If you and a partner choose to engage in oral sex, it’s good to take some time to learn about your partner’s preferences. And while you’re at it, you could also try talking to them about ways to practice safer sex!

Every body is different and what feels good on one vulva may not be the same for all others. However, a bit of anatomical knowledge may be a good place to start. The clitoris is a structure in the vulva that’s made up of concentrated nerve endings. Focusing on the clitoris is generally a spot that's known for generating pleasure and, potentially, an orgasm. The glans of the clitoris is located under the clitoral hood where the labia minora come together at the top of the vulva. Many folks find that focusing there is extremely pleasurable. However, the clitoris also has an entire internal structure that extends under the labia, so you might try experimenting with broad and focused stimulation around the vulva. Through this process, you may find that your partner has “sweet spots” besides the visible clitoris, including the G-spot, anus, labia, and nipples. All that said, the best strategy to becoming a cunnilingus connoisseur is communication! Frequent check-ins with your partner and an awareness of their nonverbal and body cues can help you to discover what they like, what they don’t, and what desires they may have.

As you engage in cunnilingus, being communicative, caring, and consensual may lead to the receiver experiencing considerable pleasure and even orgasm. Since you're interested in knowing about increasing pleasure, you may be interested in knowing about one of the models of orgasm that some people experience. Orgasms for people with vaginas can consist of multiple stages: desire, excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution. Desire is the feeling people have when they want to engage in some sort of sexual activity. During excitement (also sometimes called arousal), blood rushes to the genitals and hormones are released. Then, in the plateau stage, tension builds and respiration quickens. When someone reaches orgasm, the muscles of the vagina contract rhythmically. Finally, during the resolution stage, the body returns to its resting state. These stages are often referred to as the sexual response cycle. Although orgasms have many physical components, a person’s emotional state could also play a role. For example, anxiety and depression may occasionally interfere with the sexual response cycle. Further, this cycle also isn't representative of everyone's experiences, nor is orgasm the only form of pleasure a person could experience through sexual activity. While knowing more about the body and these responses can be helpful, pleasure can be represented in many ways.

As with a number of sexual acts, it’s possible for sexually transmitted infections (STIs), such as chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, herpes, and trichomoniasis, to be spread through oral sex. The type of sex plays a role as well — the risk of spreading HIV is much lower with oral sex than with penetrative sex. To minimize the risk of spreading STIs, individuals can use barrier methods such as a dental dam or an unlubricated condom cut into a rectangle in order to reduce contact with skin or bodily fluids. Additionally, getting regular STI screenings can help you stay on top of your sexual health and keep you from unknowingly passing something along to a partner. Further, it may increase the likelihood of a pleasurable experience if partners are familiar with each others' statuses and are taking action to prevent any STI transmission.

Whether you’re planning on “diving” in or just satisfying your curiosity, hopefully this information clarified the subject for you!

Alice!

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