Having sex every day... Okay?

Dear Alice,

I have been married with my wife for over a year now. We have sex about every day. My wife is worried that sex too often may have some negative effect on our — especially my — health. My question is: Is having sex every day or more healthy? If not, what is a "healthy" frequency for having sex? Thank you.


Dear Loverboy,

Like many topics in sexuality, several misconceptions exist about the frequency of sex (see the related Q&As). Getting the truth to your sex-related questions and discussing the answers is a great way for you and your wife to learn more about each other. This kind of open, trusting communication can enhance your relationship and help you lead healthier lives, as well.

Physiologically, having sex every day, as long as you both are into it, is fine. Is the frequency of sex comfortable for both you and your wife? Often, it isn't always easy to say what we are feeling, especially when it may challenge a relationship norm. Is it possible that your wife may want to take a few days off now and again? If she does, it wouldn't necessarily mean that she doesn't enjoy having sex with you, or that she doesn't care about you. You may find you can use this opportunity to learn out more about each other's interests and expectations about your relationship.

On the other hand, perhaps your wife is worried about your health because of the misconception about men losing their strength through their discharge of semen. Since this is untrue, she doesn't have to worry about that any longer.

Remember that a change of sexual pattern does not mean lack of interest or lack of love. It may just mean that it is time for a change. If you both are happy with the amount of sex you are having, then talking about it can help to increase intimacy. If your wife is simply concerned for your physical health, let her know there is nothing to worry about, and just go on enjoying what for you is your regular pattern.

Last updated May 26, 2015
Originally published Mar 01, 1996

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