Females — Favorite sexual position?

Dear The Lover,

Pause for a moment and consider this analogy: you and your partner are chefs in a kitchen full of various ingredients, spices and the like (get your mind out of the gutter; there are other questions that address sexy role-plays). Sexual pleasure is the meal you're cooking up and sexual position is just one of the ingredients (or spices, for that matter). By playing with different combinations of mental, emotional, and physical ingredients, there are an infinite amount of delicious recipes for a good time. Sticking with this analogy, just as there is no single favorite recipe among all females, there is no one sexual position that is universally loved among all females or people at all stages of life at every moment.

Not sure where to turn for sexual positions that turn-on? Consider asking your partner what their favorite sexual positions are not just one time, but throughout your relationship and during or before your sexual encounters — keeping in mind that preferences may change from week to week, year to year, or even multiple times during one particular romp in the hay. Preferred sexual position may also vary by partner, by location, and even by method of penetration.

For as many different sexual scenarios as you can imagine, there might be a different answer to your question in each situation. Instead of just focusing on sexual position, consider mixing in other ingredients. This might include foreplay that titillates the nipples or other erogenous zones (see the related Q&As for more ideas to spice things up). Just like adding salt and pepper, passion and creativity may also go a long way in adding the perfect flavor to your sexual repast.

If you’re asking this question in hopes of pumping up your partner's pleasure during sex, it's great that you're taking the effort to make it a maximally enjoyable experience for them. You can also let your curiosity lead you to learn more about your partner over time. Remember, pleasure and sexual satisfaction are two-way streets. Openly communicating and listening to one another's likes and dislikes are key ingredients for a healthy relationship. In all of this, keep in mind that there is no one perfect recipe for pleasure, so play, experiment, and find out what lights your partner's fire and sparks yours as well. With a pinch of imagination, a dash of spontaneity, and a gallon of open communication, you're bound to find a combination that you'll both enjoy.