Bed humping = Bad habit?

Dear Anonymous,

By "bed humping," you no doubt mean masturbating with a little help from your mattress; i.e., rubbing your body/genitals against the bed, or plunging your penis (if you have one) between the mattress and box spring. You can sleep a lot easier knowing that guys and girls have been making love to their mattresses ever since they rolled off the assembly line — this is the way some experience their first orgasms.

You're hard and/or randy, it's hard and ready; it's in the privacy of your bedroom, and you spend a third of your life sleeping with it. Are you abnormal? Certainly not! Do you need to introduce your form-fitting friend to anyone else? No. Will you end up marrying your mattress, giving birth to little sleeping bags, and living happily ever after without ever doing it with another human? Highly unlikely. Side effects associated with bed humping might include mattress burn and/or a restricted exit path for your ejaculate if pressure around the penis is king size. And aside from being walked in on, stains might give you guys away, but a tissue, towel, or condom can take care of this.

Though bedding the mattress might be what gets your motor running now, mixing up masturbation methods increases the ways in which a person orgasms by themselves and/or with others. Interested in trying something new to light your fire? Check out the Go Ask Alice! Masturbation archives for more information and inspiration.