Should I cash in on hot banker?

Hi Alice...

Here is a tough one! I need your help! I was wondering how to approach the issue of meeting a financial officer at my bank! I usually do all my banking through the web or phone, but recently had to go into my branch to update my account. I was greeted and assisted by a man who was not only gorgeous, but fashionable and funny, too! I want to know if he is available and/or if he would be interested in doing something some time, but due to his professional relationship with me as a client, I don't know what would be appropriate! Have any ideas? Or is this man completely off limits?

Dear Reader,

See what happens when you leave your computer for some real live human contact! Since this fine financier isn't your boss or teacher, it’s not an automatic no-go, but there are some considerations to be had. It's pretty likely that your bank has a policy about this kind of customer relationship, particularly if an employee is making some sort of decision about a client's account, such as approving a loan. But don't withdraw just yet! If he holds the same feelings for you (or if negative feelings were to result after a failed tryst), it’s likely that you could switch to another one of his colleagues for your future financial transactions. Whatever decision you make, respecting the boundaries of his workplace is essential. 

All that said, asking someone out at work is a delicate prospect, especially in customer-facing jobs where there’s often pressure for employees to couch their responses to avoid angering the clientele. Many workers, when faced with an unwanted advance, may find it hard to say “no” outright, instead offering excuses or noncommittal answers. This may be particularly true for those in jobs where they can’t easily escape the askee and must continue to have a pleasant interaction even after turning down their advances. Some people in customer service roles may engage in friendly behavior to enhance customer experience, and it doesn't in any way reflect their interest in patrons. 

So does this mean that the hot banker has to be off limits? Not necessarily! If you feel like the sparks are flying, by all means, you could try to ask him out. When you next see your money man, you might ask him if he'd like to have coffee sometime. If he's up for it, you could give him your phone number, showing that you respect his need to make arrangements for such a rendezvous after hours. If he shows hesitation or anything other than outright excitement at the prospect of a date with you, it may be safer to assume that a “maybe” means “no” and back off. And whichever way it ends, it’s recommended to keep the interaction brief and pleasant since he’s on the clock and likely has other customers or duties to attend to.

They always say to invest for the future... here's your chance!

Last updated Nov 12, 2021
Originally published Dec 03, 1999

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