To the reader:
I just want to say that nice guys don't finish last... I am a 21 year old "nice guy." I have always treated girls nicely and with respect. Sure, I had a few girls tell me we couldn...
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Hey Alice...
Just a quick question: why is it that nice guys always finish last? I've tried being nice all my life (nineteen yrs) to women, yet I get nothing; yet if some guy who treats them really badly comes in, they're the ones who end up with a girlfriend, and me with squat. What's the deal?!
Thanks
Dear Nice guy,
Whatever you do, don't stop being nice! Just knowing that you're out there treating people right makes Alice's hard drive hum with hope and inspiration. Being yourself may not have yielded a girlfriend, yet, but genuinely nice guys and gals (and you know who you are) develop their self-esteem, their integrity, their spirits, and their souls in ways that will keep them coming in first for a long time. Of course, we want companionship for validation and love and much more, but since we determine in what place we finish, can't that place also be first?
So, why do so many of us chase after those who treat us wrong? Some counselors might say it's because we don't respect ourselves enough — we don't feel deserving of Mr./Ms. Niceperson and are either blind to being treated badly, or are willing to take it as the price paid for not being so great ourselves. Many women in many cultures "take it" all the time because sociocultural training and expectations don't support women who assert themselves to men. In a strange way, pursuing and sticking with the not-so-nice partners can validate a belief held by some that they will never be in a successful relationship. Could these thoughts and actions also trickle down from parents who modeled similar behaviors? The list of possibilities goes on and can include fears about getting too close or too intimate with someone; in theory, it's easier to do this with nice guys. And let's not forget that some like the challenge of "winning" a partner's attention and affection, and overvalue even the little successes that in total rarely add up to the healthy, whole relationships that we desire and deserve.
Well, now that we've done some armchair psychoanalysis, maybe you feel that you've got a little more than squat — even if it's not holding your hand and kissing you goodnight. If you still believe that nice guys finish last, okay, but hopefully they're more likely to finish feeling good.
October 29, 2009
To the reader:
I just want to say that nice guys don't finish last... I am a 21 year old "nice guy." I have always treated girls nicely and with respect. Sure, I had a few girls tell me we couldn't date because I was "like their brother" or "too good of a friend." But that did not stop me from from being a nice guy. Finally, it paid off for me. I met an incredible girl, she is extremely intelligent, funny, talented and as an added bonus, incredibly gorgeous. We have been dating for 4 years and we are in love with one another. Every one of my "bad boy" friends is extremely jealous, because they all wish they were dating her. I hope all you nice guys out there are encouraged by this story... good luck!
October 17, 2007
I have to tell you all that I am really happy that I found this site and this question. I do not think that it is just nice guys that finish last, but nice girls too! I am the type of girl that would...
I have to tell you all that I am really happy that I found this site and this question. I do not think that it is just nice guys that finish last, but nice girls too! I am the type of girl that would do anything for the right guy! I cook, clean, bake.. I could never ever hurt any one. I just do not have that wicked bone in me. I really wish that all of the nice guys in the world would stand up and stand out so that I could find one!! I hate having my heart broken constantly, and to be honest with you i think that 20 is too young to be lonely! (I am!) So come on nice guys. Where are you?? I'm a nice girl and I'm right here :) come and get me!
March 27, 2007
Dear Alice,
I hate this question because it is always asked not by nice guys but by doormats or men who are terrified of women and so act "nice," like timid mice around cats. Nice guys don't...
Dear Alice,
I hate this question because it is always asked not by nice guys but by doormats or men who are terrified of women and so act "nice," like timid mice around cats. Nice guys don't finish last.
Girls who go for mean or emotionally abusive guys have emotional problems and low self-esteem. People with healthy relationships are "nice" to each other and have enough of their own power in their personality...
May 18, 2006
Dear Alice,
This is a tip for all of you shy nice guys. The Beatles wrote a song for all of the shy, nice guys who are afraid to talk to that certain someone. The song is called, "Hey...
Dear Alice,
This is a tip for all of you shy nice guys. The Beatles wrote a song for all of the shy, nice guys who are afraid to talk to that certain someone. The song is called, "Hey Jude." Listen to it and analyze the lyrics, you will see what I mean. Good luck nice guys!
April 21, 2006
Alice,
RE: Why nice guys always finish last?
With how many women have the "nice guys" interacted? I submit to you that some people on this board confuse "nice guy" with "low self-...
Alice,
RE: Why nice guys always finish last?
With how many women have the "nice guys" interacted? I submit to you that some people on this board confuse "nice guy" with "low self-esteem can't see how anyone would benefit by dating me" guy. I am speaking from experience. Think about some of the most popular romantic figures in popular culture. Are they mean? No. They do recognize that they can make a...
November 23, 2005
Dear Alice,
This is to Dear Nice Guy:
I wish I could find a nice guy like you. Don't think that all girls only want those "bad" type of boys, because not all of us do. Don't get down on...
Dear Alice,
This is to Dear Nice Guy:
I wish I could find a nice guy like you. Don't think that all girls only want those "bad" type of boys, because not all of us do. Don't get down on yourself, you'll find the perfect woman someday. Just be yourself and if she is the one, she will love you for all that you are.
September 29, 2005
Dear Alice,
I am a 25-year-old female interested in a shy, introverted, nice guy. He is patient, kind, considerate, respectful, tender-hearted, handsome, and very much a gentleman. We hang out...
Dear Alice,
I am a 25-year-old female interested in a shy, introverted, nice guy. He is patient, kind, considerate, respectful, tender-hearted, handsome, and very much a gentleman. We hang out a lot together and have gone on several dates. I really, really like this man and think about him a lot. The problem is that he is so nervous and constantly misses all the signals I am sending him, or is too afraid to make...
August 25, 2005
Dear Alice,
I just bumped onto this website for some advice on fitness and nutrition when I happened to notice your article on "Why do nice guys always finish last?"
And you are so right...
Dear Alice,
I just bumped onto this website for some advice on fitness and nutrition when I happened to notice your article on "Why do nice guys always finish last?"
And you are so right. Nice guys will always finish last if they don't take risks and are unwilling to evolve beyond who they really are. Nice guys can't really tell who they really are as they are so busy pretending who they are not — always so...
July 7, 2005
Dear Alice,
What I wouldn't give to find a nice guy! I am a nice girl, the girl next door, the girl who the guys see as a friend and nothing more (yes, it does happen to us, too!). I have had my...
Dear Alice,
What I wouldn't give to find a nice guy! I am a nice girl, the girl next door, the girl who the guys see as a friend and nothing more (yes, it does happen to us, too!). I have had my share of "bad boys" (losers) throw themselves at me and I could care less. I want a nice guy and I have no freakin' clue where any of them are. Maybe us nice people have the same problem that we can't see the forest for the...
June 21, 2005
Dear Alice,
I just wanted to respond to Why do nice guys always finish last?. I have to agree with Alice! in her opinion that...
Dear Alice,
I just wanted to respond to Why do nice guys always finish last?. I have to agree with Alice! in her opinion that you SHOULD NOT stop being nice. I've come to realize in the last couple of years that not only do nice guys always seem to finish last, but nice girls do, also. I've always tried to be good to people, and to the guys I date,...
May 13, 2005
Alice,
I, inexplicably, always found myself attracted to guys who were physically attractive as I admired from afar, but who turned out to be real jerks who didn't care about anyone else, myself...
Alice,
I, inexplicably, always found myself attracted to guys who were physically attractive as I admired from afar, but who turned out to be real jerks who didn't care about anyone else, myself included. Recently I met a guy who is not universally attractive or popular, but who is so kind and funny and caring that I have much deeper feelings for him than any of the "pretty faces." Being yourself, a "nice guy," WILL...
January 27, 2005
Alice,
I am an attractive woman in my late thirties, and was really starting to wonder if I would spend my fortieth birthday alone — NOT at all desirable in this society, for sure.
I...
Alice,
I am an attractive woman in my late thirties, and was really starting to wonder if I would spend my fortieth birthday alone — NOT at all desirable in this society, for sure.
I have to confess, I only started paying attention to the nice guys after the jerks wore me out... I dated guys who cleaned out my bank accounts and shot my self-esteem full of holes. I even fell for one guy who started to...
December 16, 2004
Dear Alice,
I'd actually like to think of myself as a nice girl, and as such, I have a couple of responses to this query.
As has been abundantly stated, part of the problem is that nice...
Dear Alice,
I'd actually like to think of myself as a nice girl, and as such, I have a couple of responses to this query.
As has been abundantly stated, part of the problem is that nice people, be they girls or guys, do tend to be a bit passive. Personally I finally pinned down a nice guy who'd been a friend of mine, but for the longest time, I couldn't tell if he actually liked me, or if he was just flirting...
July 7, 2004
Dear Alice,
Nice guys are exactly what women want BUT women need more than just a nice guy saying "yes dear." A guy that is just a nice guy could just as well be a woman in a woman's mind...
Dear Alice,
Nice guys are exactly what women want BUT women need more than just a nice guy saying "yes dear." A guy that is just a nice guy could just as well be a woman in a woman's mind because he fulfills her friendship needs but he does not turn on the spark within her. In order for a relationship to work, both should be nice but also both should be physically and emotionally attracted to one another. If one...
July 6, 2004
hey alice,
This is in response to Why do nice guys always finish last?
As a teen in a high school environment, I have...
hey alice,
This is in response to Why do nice guys always finish last?
As a teen in a high school environment, I have from early on fell victim to "Nice guy" syndrome. After several relationship failures, I began to ponder, "What exactly am I doing wrong here?" I would observe the jocks in my school and found how poorly they treated their...
June 30, 2004
Hey Alice!
I am writing in response to Why do nice guys always finish last? All of my guy friends are "nice guys" and wonderful people...
Hey Alice!
I am writing in response to Why do nice guys always finish last? All of my guy friends are "nice guys" and wonderful people; sometimes women are attracted to them, sometimes not. As in the case of "sometimes not," I think that their problem is that they do not make their feelings known. I am a nice person and am really attracted to nice guys, but...
May 21, 2004
Alice,
In response to WHY DO NICE GUYS ALWAYS FINISH LAST?:
To the lady who wrote comment (39)—
Thank you for this:
"Don't search for...
Alice,
In response to WHY DO NICE GUYS ALWAYS FINISH LAST?:
To the lady who wrote comment (39)—
Thank you for this:
"Don't search for someone to make your life complete; make your own life complete, and when someone comes along, you'll have something interesting to offer."
:) That's probably some of the most truthful, wonderful, and eloquent pieces of...
May 9, 2004
Dear Alice,
This is in response to Alice's response to, Why do nice guys always finish last?:
Oh how I wish her response were true. I'm...
Dear Alice,
This is in response to Alice's response to, Why do nice guys always finish last?:
Oh how I wish her response were true. I'm a forty-year-old single nice guy. Women continue to overlook us nice guys, unless we're good looking or rich. I don't agree with her statement about developing our "self esteem, integrity, spirits, and souls in ways that will...
May 9, 2004
Hi Alice,
I too am one of those "nice guys." After thirteen years of dating, I've heard it all. "You're too nice," "You're like dating my brother," "You're too good of a friend to take a chance...
Hi Alice,
I too am one of those "nice guys." After thirteen years of dating, I've heard it all. "You're too nice," "You're like dating my brother," "You're too good of a friend to take a chance on dating," and the statements go on. It's difficult keeping your self-esteem when you are constantly bombarded by these statements and consistently turned down after short relationships. You'd think that with the state...
May 9, 2004
Dear Alice,
This is in response to the second response to Why do nice guys always finish last?[Reader Responses]
An Old Single Nice Guy...
Dear Alice,
This is in response to the second response to Why do nice guys always finish last?[Reader Responses]
An Old Single Nice Guy said:
"Change yourself if that's what it takes." I encourage you not to do that — you can't really change who you are; all you would be changing is the way you act. If you end up in a relationship based on a lie, you...
May 9, 2004
Alice,
I wanted to respond to the Why do nice guys always finish last? discussion. As I read the reader responses, I remembered how I...
Alice,
I wanted to respond to the Why do nice guys always finish last? discussion. As I read the reader responses, I remembered how I used to feel the same way. I also had a thought that you might want to share with some of the other "nice guys" out there:
Nice guys don't finish last, passive guys finish last. A loud and brash "jock" who asks a girl out on...
May 9, 2004
Dear Alice,
I'm writing in response to the "nice guy" letter and the zillion responses to his question. I know that there are girls out there (and it seems like most of them) who only go for the...
Dear Alice,
I'm writing in response to the "nice guy" letter and the zillion responses to his question. I know that there are girls out there (and it seems like most of them) who only go for the wild and crazy guys, but I happen to like guys who can chill and have fun without any pressure. Nice guys. My roommate is dating one of the wild guys, and I'm dating *his* roommate, who is one of the sweetest, most low-key...
May 9, 2004
Hey all you nice guys out there,
I know what you mean, and let me tell you, I am a nice guy, too. I used to ask that question all the time, why was I finishing last all the time? I wanted all the...
Hey all you nice guys out there,
I know what you mean, and let me tell you, I am a nice guy, too. I used to ask that question all the time, why was I finishing last all the time? I wanted all the attention from girls that my "less nice" acquaintances seemed to get. However, I soon realised that the only person who truly appreciates a nice guy is a "nice girl," and to be honest, I think that they are rather hard to...
May 9, 2004
Dear Alice,
This is a response to why nice guys finish last. I'm 25 and have been nice to girls ever since I was 6. I spoiled most of them, did what they asked and still, I never really got the...
Dear Alice,
This is a response to why nice guys finish last. I'm 25 and have been nice to girls ever since I was 6. I spoiled most of them, did what they asked and still, I never really got the appreciation or "approval" from any of them. It seems that "Players" and "Lady Killers" always know where the gold is at. I could act out that part, but then the guilt would get to me. I did lie once to a girl I like, but I soon...
May 9, 2004
Alice,
This is in response to the Why do nice guys always finish last? discussion. Well, I, too, fit the category of what may be described as the "loveable loser," so to speak. I think Alice may...
Alice,
This is in response to the Why do nice guys always finish last? discussion. Well, I, too, fit the category of what may be described as the "loveable loser," so to speak. I think Alice may have hit the nail on the head when she mentioned that some women may like the "challenge" of trying to (misguidedly) reform a "bad boy." I have heard this from quite a few of my female friends (being the king of the platonic...
May 9, 2004
Dear Alice,
I couldn't work out where I should send this. I think this is the right place?
Anyway, I wanted to comment on this oh-so-common nice guys finish last and bad guys always win...
Dear Alice,
I couldn't work out where I should send this. I think this is the right place?
Anyway, I wanted to comment on this oh-so-common nice guys finish last and bad guys always win misconception. It's just not true. I know a lot of great guys with great gfs. I'm not exactly a nice guy myself. I try to be, but it doesn't always work out that way 100 percent of the time. :)
I've heard it said it's the excitement of...
May 9, 2004
Alice,
This is in response to Why do nice guys always finish last?
As a woman, I think I may have some ideas why. Often it has nothing to...
Alice,
This is in response to Why do nice guys always finish last?
As a woman, I think I may have some ideas why. Often it has nothing to do with whether a guy is "nice" or not, but other things that too often go with being nice. All too often, guys think that being "nice" implies giving the girl everything she wants, and no more. So these guys don't seem to...
May 9, 2004
Alice,
This is in response to Why do nice guys always finish last?
I agree 100 percent with response #10 (I think). Nice guys think that...
Alice,
This is in response to Why do nice guys always finish last?
I agree 100 percent with response #10 (I think). Nice guys think that being nice means spoiling a girl in every way, doing everything she wants. A relationship is supposed to be a give and take, and even the most selfish person will eventually get tired of always being on the receiving end. A...
May 9, 2004
Alice,
In regards to the Nice Guys finish last article, I just want to say that I really am looking for a nice guy, so have hope. There are a few of us nice girls out there, too; all we need to do...
Alice,
In regards to the Nice Guys finish last article, I just want to say that I really am looking for a nice guy, so have hope. There are a few of us nice girls out there, too; all we need to do now is find each other. Every one seems to look at nice as nerdy or boring. It is not true. I don't drink, smoke, do drugs, or party a lot, but I love to dance, see movies, go to the mountains, beach, rock climb, wind surf,...
May 9, 2004
nice! guys! finish! last!
alice,
it sickens me. all this wonderful talk of how great nice guys are! i'm a nice guy, i've been a nice guy all my life, and yet not a single bloody woman ever...
nice! guys! finish! last!
alice,
it sickens me. all this wonderful talk of how great nice guys are! i'm a nice guy, i've been a nice guy all my life, and yet not a single bloody woman ever seriously considered having a relationship with me but always said, "but you are a nice guy. it's not you, it's me"! it sickens me, if the only way to find companionship and someone to love is by being a prick, by god, i will be a...
May 9, 2004
Dear Alice,
This is another response for Why do nice guys always finish last? Nice guys just have to keep talking and trying. One of my...
Dear Alice,
This is another response for Why do nice guys always finish last? Nice guys just have to keep talking and trying. One of my nice guy friends asked me why women don't see him. I replied, "The jerks have no problems speaking up and sometimes it's hard to hear your soft genuine admiration over their loud shallow compliments". And please don't hold it...
May 9, 2004
Alice,
This is in response to nice guys finish last. Simply put, this is a lot of BS. Sure, I am a nice guy, 33 and single, but I have...
Alice,
This is in response to nice guys finish last. Simply put, this is a lot of BS. Sure, I am a nice guy, 33 and single, but I have noticed something. Nice guys like us seem to be a lot more shallow than the average person. Believe me, guys, I know women are a lot more shallow than they will ever admit to, but the fact is, we finish last because we have...
May 9, 2004
Dear Alice,
This is (yet another) response to Why do nice guys always finish last?
I want to put this out as a warning to the younger...
Dear Alice,
This is (yet another) response to Why do nice guys always finish last?
I want to put this out as a warning to the younger girls out there. Nice guys are boring. Of course, when you start dating in high school and in college, you want fun and excitement, and while most nice guys can do that, we certainly aren't as fun as bad boys. But eventually you...
May 9, 2004
Alice,
I would really like to respond to the Why do nice guys always finish last? forum.
I have a great deal of knowledge with this. I was...
Alice,
I would really like to respond to the Why do nice guys always finish last? forum.
I have a great deal of knowledge with this. I was the stereotypical "nice guy" in high school. I had several female friends and felt very trapped when I had to hear them talk about other guys they were attracted to, and other relationships they were involved in, while I was...
May 9, 2004
Dear Alice,
This is a response to Why do nice guys always finish last?
Nice guys are almost always the ones who have a lasting marriage. My Father is one of those "nice guys"; he still brings my...
Dear Alice,
This is a response to Why do nice guys always finish last?
Nice guys are almost always the ones who have a lasting marriage. My Father is one of those "nice guys"; he still brings my Mother flowers for no reason and they've been married for 32 years! And, I've found one of those "rare" nice guys in my present boyfriend. We've been dating, long-distance, for 3-1/2 years. He will drive 2 hours to see me, stay...
May 9, 2004
Hi Alice,
I'd love to respond to, Why do nice guys always finish last?
Not only do I prefer nice guys, I also married one. I hope that nice guys losing hope read this message. I've read every...
Hi Alice,
I'd love to respond to, Why do nice guys always finish last?
Not only do I prefer nice guys, I also married one. I hope that nice guys losing hope read this message. I've read every single response, and it seems like their problems to get a girl are different in each case. Some have low self-esteem, others are too picky, and others approach girls in a too "friendly" way. What do I mean by that? Well, you want...
May 9, 2004
Dear Alice,
This is in response to the nice guys finishing last article. Men, you have to be the one to approach a woman and initiate the conversation, and to get her interested in you. If you are...
Dear Alice,
This is in response to the nice guys finishing last article. Men, you have to be the one to approach a woman and initiate the conversation, and to get her interested in you. If you are thinking that a woman is going to approach a man, and risk being rejected, you better think again. Women will never admit the truth, but they are just as afraid of being rejected as most men, and also have insecurities. When...
May 9, 2004
Alice,
I would like to comment on the topic of why nice guys finish last. I feel that most men are too caught up on trying to impress women by being nice and kissing their #@...
Alice,
I would like to comment on the topic of why nice guys finish last. I feel that most men are too caught up on trying to impress women by being nice and kissing their #@...
May 9, 2004
Alice,
In response to the nice guys finish last article, I would just like to say I agree with comment number 16! At the same time I am looking for a beauty queen and someone who impresses not only...
Alice,
In response to the nice guys finish last article, I would just like to say I agree with comment number 16! At the same time I am looking for a beauty queen and someone who impresses not only my friends but more importantly, me. I know the perfect girl doesn't exist nor does the perfect guy, but I am built, tall, football player, love to cook, and super NICE, and many people say I should model! Is it so wrong of...
May 9, 2004
Alice,
This is in response to the nice guys finish last comment.
I would like to send a big thanks to the woman who posted response number 20. I was also one of the lonely nice guys who would bitch...
Alice,
This is in response to the nice guys finish last comment.
I would like to send a big thanks to the woman who posted response number 20. I was also one of the lonely nice guys who would bitch and complain, but when she commented on the things we do wrong, she described me to a tee. The weight that has been lifted off my shoulders is incredible. I am a very shy person around women, but knowing what I am doing...
May 9, 2004
Alice,
A previous writer wrote about how it was for him being a "built, tall, football player,... and many people say I should model!" Well, most of us nice guys are not. Maybe if I was, I wouldn't...
Alice,
A previous writer wrote about how it was for him being a "built, tall, football player,... and many people say I should model!" Well, most of us nice guys are not. Maybe if I was, I wouldn't still be alone. I'd give just about anything to be taller and considered good looking. The only nice guys that seem to get the girls fit into the above category. If you're not tall, built, and good looking, women just...
May 9, 2004
Alice,
This is yet-and-still another response to Why do nice guys always finish last?
I'm afraid this isn't going to be the most reassuring answer to you nice guys out there.
In my time, I've...
Alice,
This is yet-and-still another response to Why do nice guys always finish last?
I'm afraid this isn't going to be the most reassuring answer to you nice guys out there.
In my time, I've dated more nice guys than not-nice guys. Twice as many, in fact. I hurt every single one of them, and I refuse to date another on that basis.
The fact of the matter is, I am not a nice girl when it comes to "nice guys." Even if...
May 9, 2004
Dear Alice,
In reading the responses to Why do Nice Guys Always Finish Last?, I noticed something about their tone. There are a lot of comments about "protecting" women, or "spoiling them," and even...
Dear Alice,
In reading the responses to Why do Nice Guys Always Finish Last?, I noticed something about their tone. There are a lot of comments about "protecting" women, or "spoiling them," and even one reference to "paying" for things for them. Well, isn't "spoiling" something you do to a child or a pet? I'm a very long way from being a strident feminist, but all this sounds a bit icky to me. If a guy indicated to me...
May 9, 2004
Alice,
Why do nice guys always finish last?
Self-pitying "nice guys" would be well advised to pay attention to this: In my experience, "nice guys" are usually inexperienced and thus have lots of...
Alice,
Why do nice guys always finish last?
Self-pitying "nice guys" would be well advised to pay attention to this: In my experience, "nice guys" are usually inexperienced and thus have lots of misconceptions. They tend to be resentful towards attractive women because they haven't had a lot of sex and feel as though they're missing out. They tend to have spent much more time thinking about sex than actually having it...
May 9, 2004
Alice,
This is in response to Why do nice guys always finish last?
I have to admit that I always seem to fall for the charming player guys who turn out to be complete assholes. They always seem to...
Alice,
This is in response to Why do nice guys always finish last?
I have to admit that I always seem to fall for the charming player guys who turn out to be complete assholes. They always seem to be the exciting ones who make me feel special in the beginning. Because they have so much experience with women, they know exactly what to say even though they don't mean it. The nice guys always seemed to be more respectful...
May 9, 2004
Dear Alice,
Re: Why do nice guys finish last?
OK, some of this has already been said, but here is my two-cents worth.
Nice guys are sometimes nice, and sometimes lying to themselves. I am a (...
Dear Alice,
Re: Why do nice guys finish last?
OK, some of this has already been said, but here is my two-cents worth.
Nice guys are sometimes nice, and sometimes lying to themselves. I am a (mostly) nice guy, but I have given up on the Meg-Ryan-movies-guy type image that so many of us quiet guys secretly aspire to be. The thing is, you need to be strong! Not physically strong, but you need to do some serious soul...
May 9, 2004
Dear Alice,
This is in response to Why do nice guys always finish last?:
I'm what most people would call a "very nice" guy. I treat women with dignity and respect. I am polite and courteous and try...
Dear Alice,
This is in response to Why do nice guys always finish last?:
I'm what most people would call a "very nice" guy. I treat women with dignity and respect. I am polite and courteous and try to be as thoughtful as possible.
I used to have the attitude that nice guys finish last. I was amazed that women I was interested in always treated me as a "friend" or a "brother" — I got the "it's not you, it's me" line...
May 9, 2004
Dear Alice,
About the nice guys who finished last.
The nice guys' complaints are true to a point: if you hide yourself...
Dear Alice,
About the nice guys who finished last.
The nice guys' complaints are true to a point: if you hide yourself...
May 9, 2004
Hi Alice,
I have been a nice guy my entire life and no women will date me. I am attractive, intelligent, caring, and kooky crazy! The only girls that do want me are the girls who just want one thing...
Hi Alice,
I have been a nice guy my entire life and no women will date me. I am attractive, intelligent, caring, and kooky crazy! The only girls that do want me are the girls who just want one thing. Sex. Those women that do like me and are nice say that I am too good for them. Friends say I am too nice to set up with their friends. Not too long ago, I went on a date. The date was incredible. We really hit it off. At...
May 9, 2004
Hello nice guys and gals!
I'm a twenty-six-year-old "nice guy" who hasn't had a girlfriend for 8 years. I am a great looking guy (I think), I'm intelligent, funny, talented, and hard working. When...
Hello nice guys and gals!
I'm a twenty-six-year-old "nice guy" who hasn't had a girlfriend for 8 years. I am a great looking guy (I think), I'm intelligent, funny, talented, and hard working. When it comes to my choice in women, I go for personality and intelligence, not looks (God knows, I dated a ++sized woman in high school and had probably the best relationship I've ever had). I can usually get up the courage to ask...
May 9, 2004
Alice,
I would like to respond to the question regarding nice guys, and why they finish last. I'm a college-aged female, and I date fairly often. In addition to my interactions with males in the...
Alice,
I would like to respond to the question regarding nice guys, and why they finish last. I'm a college-aged female, and I date fairly often. In addition to my interactions with males in the realm of dating, I have many male friends. In fact, many of my male friends are genuine "nice guys." And I would absolutely never consider dating a single one of them.
There is a difference between a "guy who happens to be nice...
May 9, 2004
Hey nice guys out there,
I, too, was "too good of a FRIEND" to a lot of the girls whom I was interested in dating. I finally learned what I needed to do to get in on the female radar.
1. Continue...
Hey nice guys out there,
I, too, was "too good of a FRIEND" to a lot of the girls whom I was interested in dating. I finally learned what I needed to do to get in on the female radar.
1. Continue to be nice, but DON'T be a pushover.
2. Women (most of the time subconsciously) love it when you know how to put your foot down when they are being bratty. Speak up!
3. Women get too freaked out when you are such...
May 9, 2004
Dear Alice,
I'm responding to the WHY DO NICE GUYS ALWAYS FINISH LAST? article. I've always been a prototypical nice guy, so I found the article and many responses quite interesting.
I agree with...
Dear Alice,
I'm responding to the WHY DO NICE GUYS ALWAYS FINISH LAST? article. I've always been a prototypical nice guy, so I found the article and many responses quite interesting.
I agree with the many responses that said that (part of) the problem is that nice guys are often passive or insecure. I'm still a "nice guy," but I have become a lot more confident the past few years and a lot more women have been noticing...
May 9, 2004
Dear Alice,
One of the commonalities I keep seeing in the "nice guys" responses is a sense of futility in connecting with a similarly "nice woman."
Being boring is a sign of seeking companionship...
Dear Alice,
One of the commonalities I keep seeing in the "nice guys" responses is a sense of futility in connecting with a similarly "nice woman."
Being boring is a sign of seeking companionship with people who are not on the same page. A responsible nice guy has no business wasting his effort on a foolish woman who is still seeking bad boys. The nice girls are not at the bars, clubs, and strip joints.
Stop blaming...
May 9, 2004
Alice,
As if 20 responses weren't enough, I want to add something to the responses to Why do nice guys always finish last?
As I read the responses, I thought of two men in my life. The first was a...
Alice,
As if 20 responses weren't enough, I want to add something to the responses to Why do nice guys always finish last?
As I read the responses, I thought of two men in my life. The first was a man I dated a few months ago, a self-proclaimed "nice guy."
I stayed with this guy for at least a month longer than I would have, because he very much believed that he was a nice guy, and I wanted to believe it, too. The...
May 9, 2004
Alice,
I'm commenting on the Why do nice guys always finish last?. I've read just about all the comments and thought I would add my own. Reading this actually helps me out and I appreciate all of...
Alice,
I'm commenting on the Why do nice guys always finish last?. I've read just about all the comments and thought I would add my own. Reading this actually helps me out and I appreciate all of the people who had something to say. I'm, of course, one of the nice guys and I've tried everything except a couple of things I read. And since I've read all of this, I've understood and I've been doing better. I make myself a...
May 9, 2004
Hi Alice,
This is in response to, Why do nice guys always finish last?
Like so many of the readers who have commented so far, I, too, used to ask myself the same question. I had several...
Hi Alice,
This is in response to, Why do nice guys always finish last?
Like so many of the readers who have commented so far, I, too, used to ask myself the same question. I had several relationships in high school and college into which I invested tremendous amounts of emotional commitment, only to have them fall apart because, as I see it, I probably gave too much. Some guys, without realizing it, do give too much....
May 9, 2004
Hi Alice!
This is in response to Why do nice guys always finish last?
I'm a what you would call a nice guy. I'm currently in a three-year relationship with the nicest and greatest girl ever. I...
Hi Alice!
This is in response to Why do nice guys always finish last?
I'm a what you would call a nice guy. I'm currently in a three-year relationship with the nicest and greatest girl ever. I think that girls like to go after guys who, shall I say, are the shezz-nezz. I have plenty of guys who are nice guys, but the problem I think is that girls would look to appearance first. I know it's what's inside that counts,...
May 9, 2004
Alice,
I am responding to Why do nice guys always finish last? — I believe every nice guy and girl should understand the concept of "value." It is important for the nice guy himself to realize...
Alice,
I am responding to Why do nice guys always finish last? — I believe every nice guy and girl should understand the concept of "value." It is important for the nice guy himself to realize whether he values his good qualities in himself, as well as in the girl he's looking for. If he is, it's then natural for him to seek the same nice qualities in a girl, and vice versa. So, I think there is something wrong if a guy...
May 9, 2004
Alice,
My response to Why do nice guys always finish last?:
I've always been a nice guy, but was never desperate. I dated many women through the years, some serious, some not. Some were physical,...
Alice,
My response to Why do nice guys always finish last?:
I've always been a nice guy, but was never desperate. I dated many women through the years, some serious, some not. Some were physical, some weren't.
I always noticed that when I was feeling good about myself and not "dying" for a relationship, the opportunities came. You have to develop your own interests, hobbies, and develop who you are and your sense of...
May 9, 2004
Dear Alice,
I want to comment towards Why do nice guys always finish last? I have experienced situations like this with a girl, which leaded me to respond to this. I believe guys SHOULD treat girls...
Dear Alice,
I want to comment towards Why do nice guys always finish last? I have experienced situations like this with a girl, which leaded me to respond to this. I believe guys SHOULD treat girls with the proper respect and make them feel that you are a genuine person and THAT IS AS FAR AS YOU GO (depending on what type of girls, etc.: decent or undecent girls). Guys should always keep their self-respect, but playing...
May 9, 2004
Hi Alice,
I am responding to Why Do Nice Guys Always Finish Last?
I am thirtysomething, professional, reasonably physically appealing, and a well-rounded person. I am also a "nice guy" who has...
Hi Alice,
I am responding to Why Do Nice Guys Always Finish Last?
I am thirtysomething, professional, reasonably physically appealing, and a well-rounded person. I am also a "nice guy" who has suffered the slings and arrows of unrequited love. I find merit in all of the responses. But I will try to add more to the discussion.
I used to be a very passive "nice guy." But then as I began to grow and mature, I developed...
May 9, 2004
Alice,
This is in response to Why do nice guys always finish last?
I have read through all the comments and it's really awesome that so many have taken the time to share their thoughts on this...
Alice,
This is in response to Why do nice guys always finish last?
I have read through all the comments and it's really awesome that so many have taken the time to share their thoughts on this article. Anyway, this is what I think.
I have always been very nice to girls — When I was in high school and elementary school, this meant I was always picked on, mostly by the girls actually. But when I went to college,...
April 28, 2000
Hi Alice,
This is in response to
I'm nineteen and have had three more serious boyfriends. The first...
Hi Alice,
This is in response to
I'm nineteen and have had three more serious boyfriends. The first was nice for about two weeks and then beat me up. The last was nice but completely oblivious to relationships and quite self-centered. The second one, however, was truly a nice guy.
The point I want to make is that I...