Whom should I thank for my penis?

| Originally Published: September 27, 1996
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Dear Alice,

Okay, I have looked in just about every place possible. I was just curious about the genetics of genitalia. Is the size of a penis inherited from the father's or mother's side? I have found more than enough info on the size, etc. I just want to know what side of the family my penis came from (no pun intended). Thanks.

Dear Reader,

After some genital gymnastics herself, Alice wound up in Washington, D.C. before finding an answer to your penile pondering. According to the National Center for Genome Research at the National Institutes of Health, penis size, like height, weight, and general build, probably comes from both mom and pop. Research on size-related genital genetics is scarce because funds and brain power are, understandably, spent on finding treatments and cures for genetic disorders, like human growth hormone deficiency, which can cause stunted penile development. Alice hopes that this information doesn't cause you to lose a bet, or, worse yet, start a family feud.

Alice