Where do guys like to be touched?

Originally Published: August 24, 2001 - Last Updated / Reviewed On: December 23, 2008
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hey Alice,

When I'm "making out" with my boyfriend, I get kind of nervous cause I don't know where to put my hands. I know you're probably going to say just go with the flow or something, but like I'm just wondering, where do guys like to be touched when making out??? Thanks for your help~!

confused and dazed

Dear confused and dazed,

Clothes on, or off, most every inch of our skin, our largest erogenous zone by the way, are full of sensitive nerve endings thirsty for even the softest contact. However, not all people respond to touch in the same way.

You're right, going with the flow might help you find out your partner's unique tactile turn-ons, although not all people are vocal about what feels good; "Oh, yeah, I love when you touch my knee cap." Perhaps a faster and more accurate answer to your question would come by asking your boyfriend where he'd like your hands to go when your lips and tongues are busy. "Would you like me to hug you? Firmly? Gently?" You could ask before you get physically intimate, or after the fun has started. What a great opportunity for both of you to learn about each other, while practicing the often-awkward skill of communicating about feelings and desires. And, how hot can it be when a partner is so into pleasing you, and so respectful, that s/he asks you where to make contact and how best to do it? (Some places, through codes of conduct, actually require asking permission to touch, and a verbal agreement to do so.)

The pressure and pleasure of being a better lover flows two ways. Ask yourself these questions: Where do you like to be touched when the two of you are making out, or doing something else? Gently on your face and the back of your neck? Do you like a light, or firm, shoulder and arm massage? Does it feel good when he brushes your hair with his fingers? How about when his fingers glide lightly up your legs and inner thighs? It makes sense for you to learn about your body. Then you can teach your partner similarly to be a better lover to you.

If you are ever with another partner, you can gather and share this info all over again. Sex is a learned behavior... and one way to learn is to raise your hand.

Alice

February 25, 2013

524416
One form of touch which never seems to be mentioned mainstream, is pressure on the belly. I like to be pressed in by my wife, or a belt tightened about my waist. This is sexually stimulating for many...
One form of touch which never seems to be mentioned mainstream, is pressure on the belly. I like to be pressed in by my wife, or a belt tightened about my waist. This is sexually stimulating for many, though nobody ever says so. I have seen videos of girls and men being sat on or trampled on. There must be something in it for them.

February 3, 2012

506169
As a male, I can honestly say I like the feel of fingernails (or just fingers) on/in the back of my neck and head, twirling through my hair. Lower back and upper butt is always fine too.
As a male, I can honestly say I like the feel of fingernails (or just fingers) on/in the back of my neck and head, twirling through my hair. Lower back and upper butt is always fine too.