Alice,
I am female and my 3 closest friends are all male and in there early 20's I have found buying something cheap and making it personal brings a smile to their faces. For example,...
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Dear Alice,
What sort of a present would be suitable for a male friend, 22, from me, male 20? Something he will treasure and can remember me by when he sees it? We are normal college mates only.
Thanks Alice,
Sagittarian
Dear Sagittarian,
There are so many different kinds of presents that can be exchanged between friends. By saying that you and your male friend are "normal college mates only," do you mean not romantically involved? Or, not the best of friends, just acquaintances? There are lots of different kinds of relationships — varying in importance and intensity. Indeed, these are all normal, as long as they are mutual. In many cultures, though, it's not acceptable for two men to express their caring toward one another — not physically, verbally, or through the exchange of mementos. But this doesn't mean you can't express your true feelings, breaking through barriers that can help you live life to its fullest.
When considering what to give your college friend, you may want to think about your budget, his interests, activities you've enjoyed together, and how well you know one another. Gifts need not be expensive to have a lot of meaning. In fact, for many people, home-made gifts that have had time and thought poured into them, rather than money, are often the most touching of all.
Here are a few suggestions to get your creativity going:
- a journal, book, or travel journal with a special inscription
- a plant to brighten up his dorm room
- a luxury version of something he uses every day: cashmere socks; a sleek comb or fancy bath products; a monogrammed money clip
- a t-shirt or cap with the logo or name of a favorite sports team, band, or locale you've been to together
- a magazine subscription related to his interests or career goals
- tickets to see a movie, play, concert, or sports event together
- membership to a museum
- a planned trip: fishing, hiking, driving to a new town or city
- a compact disc your friend's been wanting or music by a new artist you think he'll like; a mix tape or CD you've put together
- a "found object" or something that reminds you of something you've done together: beach pebbles placed in a jar; map and postcards from a trip with your destinations noted; photographs in an album
- a letter on nice stationary explaining what his friendship has meant to you
- a framed print by an artist your friend admires or by you
- a basket of cooking utensils and/or food items from his favorite cuisine
Have fun!
May 18, 2006
Alice,
I am female and my 3 closest friends are all male and in there early 20's I have found buying something cheap and making it personal brings a smile to their faces. For example, getting an item they regually use (something they use at work, school or in there spare time) and getting a personal message on it either engraved or just scribbled on with marker. They also seem to love toys such as Mr. Potato Heads etc. and small instruments like ukuleles, recorders and tambourines.
August 16, 2002
Dear Sagittarian,
Forget about the jar of pebbles. What would you think if your good male friend got YOU a jar of pebbles? Probably something like "what the hell am I supposed to do with this jar of...
Dear Sagittarian,
Forget about the jar of pebbles. What would you think if your good male friend got YOU a jar of pebbles? Probably something like "what the hell am I supposed to do with this jar of pebbles? What sort of friend can't think of anything more individual and original to get me than a freakin' jar of pebbles?" How about a nice bottle of quality alcohol/wine (if he drinks), nice cigars (if he's a connoisseur), a gift certificate for a Swedish massage (who wouldn't love a Swedish massage), an outing to a strip club courtesy of your credit card (if he's into that sort of thing)? Think about your friendship and what makes your buddy happy... I think that you're in a much better position to answer this question than Alice is. And whatever you do, make sure your gift isn't clichéd and comes from the heart. And no jars of pebbles.