Too short to date?

Originally Published: February 24, 1995 - Last Updated / Reviewed On: January 24, 2013
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Dear Alice,

I am a twenty-three-year-old man, and I haven't had any kind of sexual intercourse for the last year and a half. I have gone this long because I am intimidated by women. Even though friends and women tell me that I am attractive, I am still very self-conscious about my physical appearance. I always feel that women will not take me seriously because of my height (5'5"). What should I do?

— Self-conscious

Dear Self-conscious,

From the sound of your letter, it seems that you have had sexual intercourse in your life, previous to the last year and a half. So, don't forget that some women have already taken you seriously, regardless of your height! You need to remember (all the time!) that what's more important than your height itself is how you feel about your height. If your height bothers you, and you walk around feeling self-conscious and intimidated, people will respond to your self-consciousness and your feelings of inadequacy. If, on the other hand, you know that you're a good person, attractive, and a young healthy guy, and project THAT image to the world, women will respond to you in a different way. Sure, some women will prefer to date a taller guy — but some women prefer those on the shorter side, too. So, focus on your good qualities and meet lots of people. At some point, the chemistry will be right, and, rather than being intimidated, you'll both be wanting to check out each other more intimately. Good luck!

Alice

August 2, 2005

20919
Dear Alice,

Too short to date?

No way! Yes, many women do prefer to date a TALL guy. I being one of them, but then again, I'm 5'2". I have dated all heights from 5'4" to 6 feet. I...

Dear Alice,

Too short to date?

No way! Yes, many women do prefer to date a TALL guy. I being one of them, but then again, I'm 5'2". I have dated all heights from 5'4" to 6 feet. I see many good looking short men. I would not turn a man down based solely on his height. Currently, I am dating a guy who's 5'6".

If it can't be changed, what's the point of worrying about it. Enjoy your life; life's too short.

June 21, 2005

20914
Dear Alice,

I'm only about 5'6" and I have romantic relationships fairly often. Any time I go through a dry-spell, however, I do quickly fall into the mindset that I might never date again. But...

Dear Alice,

I'm only about 5'6" and I have romantic relationships fairly often. Any time I go through a dry-spell, however, I do quickly fall into the mindset that I might never date again. But I always surprise myself. Keep your hopes up.

~Optimistic

May 6, 2005

20909
Dear Alice,

In response to the man who is self-conscious of his height, I, too, had the same problem, except I am a 5'10" female. Being taller than or the same height as many men is intimidating...

Dear Alice,

In response to the man who is self-conscious of his height, I, too, had the same problem, except I am a 5'10" female. Being taller than or the same height as many men is intimidating to men. For almost 2 years, I couldn't find anybody, until 6 months ago. I am now in love and happy with a man and the best part is... he's 5'7". I never pictured myself with a man shorter than me, but his charm and personality won me over. You have to be confident in who you are, that's what women see most... not how tall you are. So hang in there. You will find someone who loves you for who you are... and don't forget us "tall girls."

Good luck,
In love with a short man

September 10, 1999

20328
Dear Alice,

I would like to reply to the man who wrote Too short to date? I am a very attractive woman who happens to be engaged to a...

Dear Alice,

I would like to reply to the man who wrote Too short to date? I am a very attractive woman who happens to be engaged to a man that is the height of 5'4". He is the most wonderful man alive and I learned to love him for who he was and not his height. I wanted to tell this man not to worry about his height because if he has a good attitude and really great qualities, he can get any woman he wants regardless of his height. I have been in four major pageants and have modeled for many years and I am not with a six-foot, tan, muscle man, but I have chosen to marry the most handsome, most wonderful man on the face of the earth who is pale, 5'4", and has freckles. So my point is, don't worry about your height or looks for that matter, just be a good guy and the girls will start coming!