Week of:
Aug 25, 2017

Sexy role-plays

Dear Alice,

My girlfriend and I want to experiment more with our love making. We want to try more role playing, but we need some good ideas to try out. Could you please give some suggestions?

— Wanting to be an Actor

Lost all control in the bedroom

Dear Alice,

I have been with my long term girlfriend for five years. I am seriously thinking about getting engaged.

Over the last three years she has taken control of our sex life. I have definitely become submissive in the bedroom. We don’t get into BDSM, but she always decides when, where, and how. She loves this control. While I have come to accept my submissive role, and I do certainly enjoy making love to her and pleasing her, I have asked her on many occasions for some variety. I would like to enter her sometimes and she has not performed oral sex on me for years. Granted, I am a bit under average in the endowment area and she always has a hard time reaching orgasm with straight intercourse. I have tried to talk to her, but she always shuts down the convo by making me admit that I love pleasuring her. Of course when we start fooling around I am so excited that I just follow her lead.

Honestly, I am very happy in every other aspect and I don't want to add any friction to the relationship. She is a very private person and doesn’t like to talk sex. Visiting a therapist is not an option as I have already subtly suggested it and been rebuffed. Should I be overly concerned? Should I continue to press the issue (although it doesn’t seem to be getting me anywhere) or just accept my role? Again, I do enjoy pleasing her and I usually get off. I guess I could be happy continuing this way and I don't want to lose her. I would love your thoughts.

Spice up sex life?

Dear Alice,

My boyfriend and I have been dating off and on for two years. We have been having sex for about a year now. The problem is I want to spice up our sex life, but I don't have any imagination. He says he's willing to try anything but he won't give ideas. We've done it in different positions, used sex toys but I can't think of anything fun to try. Please help, give me some suggestions.


Ménage à trois?


Boy, am I confused. I am married and love my wife dearly. We have had a great sex life and do everything together. Recently, I have had thoughts about another woman joining us during sex. I didn't tell my wife this, however. Just a short time ago, my wife said that she thought that I would like to make love to her and another woman. I thought she was joking. She wasn't. I have responded that I felt that she probably wouldn't like that. She responded that she didn't know about that.

I'm not sure what to do. Do I see if she wants to try this, or just let it ride? I fear that if we did do this, that she would want to also bring in another man. While I want her to be happy, I am not interested in another man. (She hasn't suggested this even when I jokingly suggest that she would like this.) Even if she did want to do this, where do you find persons willing to try this type of sexual encounter?

— Totally Unsure

Time to go condom shopping! Brands, sizes, textures — What to buy?

Dear Alice,

I've never bought condoms before. I'm a smart shopper — I look at things like quality and value when I buy anything — and I want to do the same with my condom purchases. But I don't know what to look for!!! And I'm not sure I'm ballsy enough to walk up to the pharmacist and ask, "Now, tell me, if your daughter were having sex, which brand of condom would you want her to use with her boyfriend?"

I want a really effective condom, that doesn't, like, smell weird or fit poorly or anything. And I don't want to whip it out and have my man laughing at it.

Who do I ask for advice on this??? Where do I go?