Sore sex?

Originally Published: December 1, 1994 - Last Updated / Reviewed On: August 8, 2011
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Hey Alice,

I know you've had many similar questions, but I still don't quite have the answer. I am a female, and a relative newcomer to sex, and just about every time I have sex with my boyfriend (who has a very large appendage) I get really sore. We use a ton of lubricant and we go very slow, and wait till I'm ready, and I don't tense or have pain often with entry, it's just this soreness. It goes away after a while, but lately it's been making things difficult when we try to have sustained sexual activity. Thanks.

—Not having fun

Dear Not having fun,

Painful lovemaking can be the result of several physical situations. You may have a vaginal infection which intercourse friction causes to flare up. Your vaginal canal may be irritated by the specific foam, cream, or lubricant that you are using, or may be a reaction to the type of rubber a condom is made from. The first few times you have intercourse, an unstretched hymen may cause pain. This may be the case especially if you say that your boyfriend's penis is on the large side. If the pain is deep within the pelvis, it is probably a sign of a more serious problem. The soreness you describe does not sound like you're having an internal problem. However, if this continues, please see a provider in Primary Care Medical Services who may have some more suggestions on how to make your lovemaking more pleasurable and less sore.

Alice