Hey Alice,
This is for Curiously Satisfied:
I wouldn't call you necessarily "unusual" — although I would say "lucky." :) I've experienced the same thing with all 4 of my past...
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Dear Alice,
When my girlfriend and I have sex, we almost always (9 times out of 10) orgasm within a few seconds of each other. Honest! This has been happening daily, with the exception of her periods, for about 6 months. We are both quite satisfied with each other as sexual partners. Are we an unusual couple? Thank you for your time.
—Curiously Satisfied
Dear Curiously Satisfied,
What an interesting phenomenon you two have together...
"Simultaneous orgasm" is a phrase that describes two people who orgasm at the same time during vaginal intercourse. So you ask if you are an unusual couple. Well, some people orgasm simultaneously regularly; some orgasm at different times during the sexual experience; some orgasm simultaneously sometimes, but not at other times; and, some don't orgasm at all.
Media images show and reinforce simultaneous orgasm as the best, ultimate, or ideal way for sexual experiences to culminate, and some people agree. In reality, however, it is not, nor does it have to be, the gold standard. People do not need to strive for this experience, either. Sexual experiences and orgasms, no matter when/whether/how they occur, can give couples amazing pleasure. Variety can offer even more pleasure.
Some people enjoy being involved in their partner's orgasms, rather than focusing on their own. Hearing, seeing, or feeling their partner's arousal, climax, and release can even send some of them over the edge along with, or right after, them.
Perhaps the precise timing of the "Big O" (or "smaller o") is less important than whether or not the partners are enjoying themselves and feeling pleasure. It might be fun for you both to experience other ways to give and receive pleasure, while having fun with each other — with or without perfect timing.
August 4, 2006
Hey Alice,
This is for Curiously Satisfied:
I wouldn't call you necessarily "unusual" — although I would say "lucky." :) I've experienced the same thing with all 4 of my past boyfriends (particularly the last/longest relationship). I think it has to do with (a) being able to read each other's "cues" well, and (b) being able to control the timing of your own orgasm. For me, my boyfriend telling me he was almost coming was always a huge relief/turn-on. It was like "ahh, now I can finally REALLY go for it!" or like those words were "permission."
Anyway, just wanted to let you know you're definitely not alone, but that you are pretty lucky to be so compatible. Enjoy! :)