Sex Doggie-Style = Pain

| Originally Published: September 27, 1996 - Last Updated / Reviewed On: October 28, 2005
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Dear Alice,

I like to have sex 'doggy style' more often than I could at the moment because my wife complains that it is painful. Is that common?

doggy style

Dear doggy style,

Yes. The doggy-style position allows for the deepest penetration for women. Often, it is deep penetration, as well as a lack of lubrication, that causes pain. You can use another kind of lubricant, such as Aqualube, in addition to natural vaginal lubrication to help minimize friction. As for the depth of penetration, you can control it by putting your penis in a bit at a time, and then asking her to let you know what is pleasurable and what is painful. However, if during doggy-style sex your body is pounding like a pile-driver, Alice encourages you to reconsider the type, speed, and intensity of your movements.

One last thought: check with your wife to make sure doggy-style sex is something she really wants to do, or if she is interested, to find a more comfortable way to do it. Good sexual communication facilitates more enjoyable sex for you and your wife.

Alice

October 28, 2005

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Dear Alice,

Well, i find that on the contrary, when i'm having sex with my boyfriend doggy style, the wetter i am, the deeper it goes, the more it hurts. According to an article i read somewhere...

Dear Alice,

Well, i find that on the contrary, when i'm having sex with my boyfriend doggy style, the wetter i am, the deeper it goes, the more it hurts. According to an article i read somewhere, i don't remember, it is possible for the male to hit the cervix of the woman while having sex if the woman isn't completely and fully aroused. Maybe that's why it's hurting her. I think males should also do it a little gentler if it is hurting the partner, perhaps shift the woman to the left or to the right a little during doggy style, it helps not to hit directly to the center, and is maybe more pleasurable... it works for me!