Semen has to go somewhere

Originally Published: February 9, 1996 - Last Updated / Reviewed On: December 9, 2009
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Dear Alice,

Alice...You've said that there is no medical concern if a man goes without orgasm for up to a year. Well, I have NEVER had a wet dream in my life, and if I don't have regular ejaculations, I get prostate and/or urinary infections! It's been this way for 30 years. (I'm 48 yrs. old). Going without orgasm seems to cause a build-up of seminal fluid that goes nowhere. Is this common?
Stuffed-up

Dear Stuffed-up,

Arousal does not always lead to a build up in fluid, or a need for release through ejaculation. However, if you find that orgasm keeps you healthy, Bravo!

Some, not all, men may use the possibility of blue balls or lover's nuts, (being stuck in high arousal without orgasm), to try to convince others to somehow "get them off". In reality, they can not orgasm or orgasm alone at a later time without the likelihood of negative health consequences. That said, men may feel heaviness, aching, or discomfort when they have become aroused and don't orgasm. Women can also experience some discomfort when aroused without orgasm, but like men, there aren't major medical implications. 

You mention an association between blue balls and an increase in infection. Urinary tract infections can be common and the timing of your blue ball experiences may coincide with such infections. It's also possible that a related condition, epididymitis is occurring.

For more on blue balls in men and details on the female version, check out Blue balls, blue ovaries?. The body does an amazing job of taking care of itself and some of the experiences around blue balls could be related to the social expectation that orgasm needs to occur with every arousal. You don't always need to have a partner or even an orgasm to find some relief – a warm compress, an ice pack, or cold shower could do the trick.

Hope this has given you some clues on the blues.

Alice