Relationship becomes a long distance one

Dear Reader,

Whether or not "long distance" relationships can work is one of those age-old questions in the book of love. They are, undoubtedly, a challenge, but challenges can be a good thing.

You and your boyfriend are in a unique kind of situation. College life is likely to differ in many ways from "life back home," where he'll still be. At college, you will be learning all kinds of new things. You will meet interesting people, study subjects you may not have even known about, and also have a chance to explore yourself. Since your boyfriend will remain at home and attend high school, he is likely to continue life as he has for the last couple of years -- studying at the same library, listening to similar music, sipping sodas at the same old diner. At times it may seem as if you don't have anything in common anymore, and this can be scary. At some point, you may feel that this is true, and the two of you can reevaluate where the relationship is headed.

But being apart can also give you an opportunity to share things in a new way. You will only be about twenty minutes away from one another, so visits would certainly be possible, and phone calls are likely to be inexpensive. Most college campuses offer e-mail accounts to students, often for free. Even though you will be relatively close by, old-fashioned snail mail is still a great way to connect with loved ones, and it can take on quite a romantic air, too!

You and your boyfriend are already setting yourselves up for success because you are communicating clearly about your feelings. This is probably the single most important thing to continue doing in order to make your time apart manageable. Since you live near one another, you may even want to set aside a special time each week to check in and talk about what's going on for each of you. If you're both busy with schoolwork or other commitments during the week, maybe you can get together during some weekends, and then there's those long holiday breaks, too. You will both need to listen carefully and hear the other's hopes and needs. For example, you are likely to be eager to share with your boyfriend the details of classes, activities, and new friends. This may be hard for him at first; he may need reassurance that you still care for him in a special way and are interested in what he's doing. You, too, might need to know that you are missed, but that your new experiences are something to be proud and excited about.

Long distance relationships can be tough, but they're not impossible. Keep the open communication flowing, and you and your boyfriend will have a great chance to get to know each other, and yourselves, better. For other ideas related to your question, read The up side of a long distance relationship, Long distance relationships, and Long distance relationship?. Good luck.