Penis size does matter!

Originally Published: June 30, 2000 - Last Updated / Reviewed On: March 18, 2011
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Dear Alice,

I would like to know why those in the "sex-advice" industry always tell men that size doesn't matter? Almost every woman I have talked to, an admittedly unrepresentative sample, says size DOES matter. They don't want the guy to be too big, but they don't want him to be very small either. All things being equal, bigger, up to a point, seems to be better in the male equipment department.

Do sex advisors tell men size doesn't matter just to make men feel good?

from, Not too big, but not too small either

Dear Not too big, but not too small either,

Speaking for herself, Alice's responses to penis size ponderings tend to tow the size-doesn't-matter line because there can be so much more to relating sexually than the length and width of a partner's penis. Why there's kissing, holding, intimacy, eye contact, one-ness, touching, soul-bearing honesty, trust, breasts, butts, toes, hair, discovery, and so on. Sure, penis size is a big deal to some, while others see it as a little piece of a much bigger sex pie.

 

Alice

February 1, 2013

523005
Guys, listen up. I attended Columbia and much older now. I wish I knew then what I know now. I'm older, a bit more wiser, and more sexually experienced. To be sure, there will always be "size...
Guys, listen up. I attended Columbia and much older now. I wish I knew then what I know now. I'm older, a bit more wiser, and more sexually experienced. To be sure, there will always be "size queens." I knew a few and they seemed to enjoy describing in detail of the girth and length, shape, and size that a man had to be to be a "real" man. It was initially intimidating and off-putting to say the least to know that such women exist. Then there were shows like Sex and the City, in which the "bigger is better" message seemed a national celebratory anthem. It wasn't until graduating and learning about more about sex and where I stood (pun inteneded) statistically that I felt more confident about myself. Now over thirty, what I find I worry about is that I'm fit and keep myself healthy and that it works well. Trust me: take good care of your health, exercise and read about sexual health. Looking back now I realize we live in a toxic world or unrealistic "standards." If porn is your source for education, then you're sadly uneducated. You are not your penis; you're penis is but a part of you. Put that in perspective. Trust me, your penis is most likely fine but maybe not your outlook if your worrying about to the point you're not living it well. Peace and well being!

May 11, 2009

21399

To the reader:

Everyone to their own. There is no definative answer to the much debated questions regarding the importance of penis size. To what extent penis size matters to individuals or...

To the reader:

Everyone to their own. There is no definative answer to the much debated questions regarding the importance of penis size. To what extent penis size matters to individuals or couples depends on many things and influential factors such as sexual orientation, perception of what sex and relationships are or mean etc. The way I see it, the penis is, on average, 5 to 7 inches of the male form. I'd like to believe that this small portion of a man, even if it falls short of or excedes average size is an equaly small part of a relationship. By this I mean that penis size should not sway or in any way determine emotional involvement/closeness between two people. With regards to casual sex; everyone will have their own preferences and perceptions. To some size will matter; to others it won't. Consider this; there will be many people with large penises that perform badly at sex; likewise, there wil be those with small penises that can provide the sexual masterclass. Be thankful and comfortable with what you have; make the most and least of it...

September 29, 2005

20971
Dear Alice,

I am a 24-year-old male, and virtually all of my girlfriends and other friends have said that size matters, at least to some degree.

Alice, you say that so many things...

Dear Alice,

I am a 24-year-old male, and virtually all of my girlfriends and other friends have said that size matters, at least to some degree.

Alice, you say that so many things besides penis size are important in a sexual relationship. And I agree. But the fact that penis size is only one of many important things does not make size irrelevant. However, while it is difficult to change your penis size, you can do other things to improve your lovemaking technique. So that is what one should focus on, I think.

I love reading the Alice site. I think it provides a good service.

July 5, 2002

20438
Alice, Just a note on penis size and the desire for a bigger one. I think the standard reply, which diminishes the importance of phallic size based on the preferences of others, is fairly crazy....
Alice, Just a note on penis size and the desire for a bigger one. I think the standard reply, which diminishes the importance of phallic size based on the preferences of others, is fairly crazy. When I observe myself nude in the mirror, I never think that I want to change a body part because my wife would find it more pleasing. Instead, I'm thinking that I want that part to change because I want it to look better for me. Why is it relevant that the average size of an adult erect penis is under six inches? If I crave a 9-inch penis, the average smaller one does not come into the equation. I wouldn't be interested in what other men have or what women on average prefer. Size matters, I believe, if you, the man, believes it does. It's not juvenile or stupid to want something because others think they don't need it. 8.5 and wanting more.