Obsessive face picking

Dear Alice,

I found your website today and it was a relief to find so many people suffering from the same thing I felt I was suffering from but was not sure. I usually feel alone because it is a devastating disease which leads me to be antisocial in my personal life and at work. I have been seeing a dermatologist and have undergone some procedures in hopes of starting me on the right path. All of your readers had great suggestions about methods to help stop the compulsiveness. I too look in the mirror several times a day and cannot seem to stop. As long as I keep busy, I do not think about picking or looking in the mirror. I recently told my husband and my father what was going on with me and I got total support, especially from my husband. He goes to all appointments with me and constantly encourages me to fight this problem. If it weren't for him, I do not know what I would do. I will keep reading your website and feel that it can be somewhat therapeutic to hear that others are dealing with the same problem.

Alice,

I too have had this disorder for a long time, almost ten years, I believe. It is a struggle that continues. I go through periods where I get better and, of course, through those where I cannot seem to stop destroying my face. I just want to be free from wearing make-up every day. I am ashamed of my face sometimes.

I am steadily defeating my compulsion despite my periodic setbacks. I find that, indeed, keeping busy and distracting yourself is truly helpful. Doing so helps you avoid mirrors, in fact. If you must look in the mirror (I would avoid it), refrain from getting very close. I have learned to keep trimming my nails so that I am less capable of inflicting damage. That said, get rid of any "tools" you may have--tweezers, needles, pins, and the like. This is a vicious cycle that needs breaking; I find that it is better to simply prevent yourself from starting. I remind you that this problem is a compulsion (meaning that it is a state of being forced to do something or being unable to resist stopping).

I often find that I need to keep my hands busy in order to avoid touching my face. I just tell myself to stop before it's too late; I may end up with terrible scarring. Remember, one day at a time. You have had the power to change all along.

Dear Alice,

I'm stunned that my situation is shared by so many. Reading these entries has helped me realize that I have a serious problem, and that I am not alone. I notice when I pick it's usually when I am stressed out, anxious, or bored. I'm not a perfectionist by nature but when I am in that "zone" I feel the need to purge my pores of everything that's in them to get "clean." It is, as others have described it, a torturous cycle. You feel this uncontrollable need to do it, even though you know that by doing it you are making your skin worse, and yet it feels good. I feel accomplished when I get a lot out a pore. And then afterwords there is that feeling of utter dread, helplessness, and disapointment, of asking oneself "why?" and then waiting till the morning to see how much damage was done. I think part of the reason I do it is because in a way, odd as it may sound, it makes me feel like I have control. I have problems with body image and emotional eating, but when I pick, to me its as though the pimple is a problem I take care of simply and immediately and be done with it. Of course, that's not really how it works. It's humiliating to have hide away from public or even intimate situations with other people because of this problem. I've only been doing it for 2 years and I am going to stop. Thank you for offering an outlet for sufferers and those who support them, as well as for the tips on how to stop.

Dear Alice,

I am twenty-one and have been suffering from dermatillomania for about seven years. I wore long pants even before I started, so no one has noticed the scars on my leg, except my doctor. She gave me the 'domestic abuse' survey once, and as my family life is perfectly normal, the scars were never mentioned again. I don't wear tank tops in public, I don't own anything that shows my back, I can't wear low-cut shirts, and I own five different types of concealer. . . but I've never had acne, all my skin problems stem from this compulsive behaviour. Reading these letters has given me the courage to begin counseling at my college. I'm tired of hiding in long sleeve T-shirts, hoodies, and sweaters. I'd like to wear a strapless dress to the graduation party and NOT have to put make-up on my back and shoulders, but I know I have to start working now. Hopefully, with the short term solutions suggested here and counseling, some day I can be pick-free!

I am 20-years-old and I, too, have been suffering from this problem for about three years. I also do not have bad skin, but rather inflict these horrible things upon myself and create marks on my face. I have been diagnosed with OCD and was at one time on medication to help me with my obsessions. The main reason that I seeked medical help was because of my obsessive face picking, which at one point was so bad that I had scabs covering my entire face. I eventually went off the medicine because it was making me exhausted (a common side effect of anxiety and obsession medications), and even though I have learned how to better deal with my OCD and picking, I have flare ups all the time. It seems that my picking is a constant problem and I am so tired of having to cover up my face and deal with this. I think the hardest part is trying to explain to people about this disorder because they don't understand that you cannot just stop and make it go away. This is a constant struggle that can only be dealt with, but not completely cured. I agree with a lot of the tips given by people and thank them for sharing their experiences. I have also found that applying cortisone cream after picking helps heal the skin and the redness. I also used to obsessively pull my hair out when I was about age two and was misdiagnosed with having night terrors, when it was probably the start of my life long struggle with OCD. I mostly recommend that poeple go seek help about this problem because it is a mental disorder that is not controllable. I had to learn that having OCD is not my fault and talking to someone really did help. I used to feel guilty about this until I learned that it was not my fault, and everyone else who suffers should know that, too. Good luck to everyone and thanks again!!

I am fifteen-years-old and have been picking at my face for maybe five years now. It's really hard because I have darker skin and it scars really badly. I know that picking at my face is why I look so bad, but I seem to have no control over it. It's like I have to squeeze it all out, and dig and pick until there is no sign of the zit left, just a bloody mess. And of course, the kids at my high school are just awful and make me feel even worse. And it's hard to use any suggestions like covering mirrors or wearing gloves when you live in a house where parents or siblings or their friends are always around to see. I'm just relieved to know that there are other people with this same problem and I think writing about it just now has helped me some, too.

I would also like to thank you for your posting on obsessive face picking. I, too, suffer from it, as well as hair pulling. I'm currently seeking help for drug addiction, as well, and I feel extremely overwhelmed and hopeless. I've tried having people in the bathroom with me at night while washing my face, and that didn't help. But I want to thank everyone for the suggestions about fake nails and leaving the bathroom lights off at night... I'm so thankful to know I'm not alone.

-Kait

Like so many people who have written in here, I have been a picker for as long as I can remember. I'm almost 38. My mom does it, my sister does it, and now I see my 2-year-old son's fingers sometimes scratch at his face for no apparent reason when I'm reading to him. It seems to me to have a genetic component, but I've seen about 10 counselors/psychiatrists over the course of a lifetime and no one has come up with a specific diagnosis or cure. OCD meds haven't helped me somehow.

Like others here, I don't just pick my face. I have scars all over my body — even my breasts — from the damage I've done to my otherwise fairly clear skin. I, too, like one reader, have even wondered whether all these years of cell damage might result in cancer. It's like being a chain smoker, the compulsion is so strong for me.

Just reading this site tonight, however, I am extremely moved and encouraged. Thank you to Alice for addressing this topic and to all those pickers out there who have courageously shared their stories and vowed to quit! Just knowing there are others like me out there, who have shared what I've always thought of as "my own private hell," makes me feel even more resolved to quit myself.

THANKS

Amy

This letter is in response to face picking in general. I have had this problem for over 30 years. Yes! That is true. I have had to use a concealer every day for over 30 years. I have been married for 18 years and recently went to a dermatologist for a non-related problem and during a follow-up visit asked the dermatologist if he could help me clear up my skin. To my amazement and embarrassment, he diagnosed me as a face picker. After admitting it to myself and my husband (who already knew that I had this problem), I was able to get some control of it. For the first time in all those years, I can now actually go without any concealer at all. Here are some of the things that helped me:

1. Get rid of any kind of magnifying mirror or close-up mirror.

2. Get rid of any kind of pin or knife or sharp objects that can be used to pick.

3. I got fake nails and I asked them to make them thicker so they are ineffective.

4. I wash my face and right away put on lotion so I won't start anything.

5. It is also helpful to keep the light off when you wash at night before bed.

6. The longer you can hold off, the easier it gets. I had to fight the urge many times, but as I saw results, it is getting easier. I am actually starting to forget about doing it as much.

7. It might be helpful to get a dim light in your bathroom if you can.

8. Admit the problem to yourself and others.

9. Pray for strength.

I know it is hard to stop because I am still dealing with it. It is so strange to realize this problem but as you stop with the habit, you will see your skin improve drastically. All those years I wasted feeling bad about myself when I had the power all along to change. It is powerful when you take charge and control of your own life. Just try for a morning and then a night and then a day and then another day. I hope this helps someone today because I am thankful that I have been helped, too.

J.