Me and my wife found a particular position that helps a lot with her orgasming (she's had an orgasm every time for about a month now). Have the woman get her legs on the man's shoulders so her knees...
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Dear Alice,
I am a sexually active female, but I can't reach orgasm when having sex with my boyfriend. Can you help me out? Thanks.
— Yearning
Dear Yearning,
Alice assumes from your note that you can attain orgasm when masturbating, but not when engaged in sex with your boyfriend. Are you only having intercourse? Vagina-to-penis intercourse gives only indirect clitoral stimulation -- and your clitoris has a central role in elevating feelings of sexual tension. To reach orgasm during intercourse, many women need direct stimulation both before and during penetration. You can try using your own hands during intercourse, or guiding your boyfriend's hands to rub your clitoris during sex. You can also try a variety of positions where your clitoris might get further stimulated. The woman-on-top position has more potential for clitoral stimulation than the missionary position for instance. You can also request direct oral or manual stimulation from your boyfriend before, after or instead of intercourse, verbally letting him know what turns you on the most.
If it's more a matter of whether or not you're allowing yourself to have an orgasm, rather than the physical manipulations to get there, please see Easing orgasms for women and Women's orgasms. Those two answers also suggest books for further reading.
March 25, 2011
Me and my wife found a particular position that helps a lot with her orgasming (she's had an orgasm every time for about a month now). Have the woman get her legs on the man's shoulders so her knees are at his shoulder so she can put weight on his shoulders (like a backpack kinda.) Then, get the man to place his knees under the woman's hips to lift her hips higher, and when he thrusts, have him thrust upwards. This way, the woman can control how deeply he goes using her leg muscles to pull on his shoulders and lift herself away from his penis if he's going to deep, or relax if she wants it to be deeper. Also, the upwards thrusting and the elevated hips lead to better G spot stimulation. It also keeps the clitoris area free for hands to get in since hips (and bellies) aren't in the way. Hope this helps!