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Originally Published: January 6, 1995

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Hey Alice!

My old boyfriend and I used to have sex in 3 or 4 different positions, including sitting, me on top, doggie style, etc. My new boyfriend and I are a lot closer, and I have much better feelings for him than my old guy. Yet for some reason, we can only have sex in the missionary position, because I can't get him to go in me when I've tried to have sex on top. When we sit (me on top) it doesn't go in either. What could be the problem? --Positioning

Dear Positioning,

Given a lack of physical problems, it may simply be that you two need to be more creative about positioning. First of all, Alice suggests using lots of lubrication (water-based lube, not oil based, like petroleum jelly). You may want to try starting in the missionary position, and then trying to move around from there, keeping his penis inside you. In attempting the woman on top position, try leaning forwards, or leaning backwards and then fitting his penis in-- it may simply be a matter of angle. You may also want to try standing up, and rear entry, or doggie style as you mentioned. Using lots of lubrication, and lightening up and having fun, rather than emphasizing "trying to get him to go in you," should make you both able to enjoy sex in a variety of positions. Who knows-- with the two of you, you may find some brand new positions!!

Alice

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