New boyfriend, only missionary position

Originally Published: January 6, 1995 - Last Updated / Reviewed On: June 22, 2012
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Hey Alice!

My old boyfriend and I used to have sex in 3 or 4 different positions, including sitting, me on top, doggie style, etc. My new boyfriend and I are a lot closer, and I have much better feelings for him than my old guy. Yet for some reason, we can only have sex in the missionary position, because I can't get him to go in me when I've tried to have sex on top. When we sit (me on top) it doesn't go in either. What could be the problem? --Positioning

Dear Positioning,

Do your sex positions taste a little bland? There are a few key ingredients necessary for spicing up your style: communication, creativity, and lubrication. What types of positions do you want to work? Communicating your desires with your partner can be quite challenging, especially if the two of you are not used to talking openly about your sex life. You may want to approach the topic at a time when you and your partner are feeling relaxed and comfortable. Ultimately, having an open and honest conversation about your desire for different positions could bring the two of you closer—and up the electricity of your sex life, too!

Now it’s time to get creative with the coitus. If you and your partner are having trouble with insertion, you can grease the wheels with some water-based lubrication. To make changing positions a little easier, perhaps you can start out in the missionary position, and then try to move around from there with his penis inside you. To attempt the woman on top position, you can try to lean forwards and then fit his penis inside of you. In the end, it may simply be a matter of angle. With patience and good communication, you can try woman on top, standing up, rear entry (doggie style), or spooning…the possibilities are endless.

In addition to focusing on sexual position, consider mixing in other ingredients. This might include foreplay that titillates the nipples or other erogenous zones (see the Related Q&As below for more ideas to spice things up). Just like adding salt and pepper, passion and creativity may also go a long way in adding the perfect flavor to your sexual repast.

Remember, lightening up and having fun, rather than emphasizing the challenges, should help the two of you enjoy sex in a variety of positions. With horizons of pleasure ahead of you, who knows what you’ll discover!

Alice