My penis: No match for a vibrator!

Originally Published: May 20, 2005
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Alice,

I have been in a relationship with a girl for awhile and things look like beginning to lean towards sex. Ever since I "discovered" my sexuality, I knew I would be someone who had more than average enjoyment of sex but because of various reasons have remained a virgin. But recently I have been having doubts. My girlfriend's friends are always telling her how great vibrators are and how a small penis will never satisfy her. So then I start thinking of how I could please her. My penis is about average size (maybe even a little less) and certainly does not have a vibrating function. Now I worry that I could never satisfy her the way some machine could. But I also want her to be the most sexually satisfied she could be but does that mean I have no real part in it?

Dear Reader,

Many men worry about not being able to satisfy a partner because of the fear that their penis is too small. And while some people may prefer larger penises, most will tell you that it isn't about how big the penis is, but that it's got more to do with what you do with it and how you use your fingers, hands, tongue, mouth, and other body parts to give and receive pleasure.

Before taking your girlfriend's friends' comments to heart, why not have a talk with your girlfriend about her feelings? She may have no desire either to use a vibrator or even to have sex at the present moment. Frank discussion, trusting yourself, and disclosing your feelings can strengthen the emotional bond you two share, making decisions easier about sexual issues.

Also, sexuality isn't something that is "discovered" once and set in stone. A person's understanding of his/her sexuality evolves over time with new input, experiences, and partners. Sharing your feelings and desires, and listening to your partner's, is one way you can continue to discover new things about your partner and yourself.

Men can also fear being replaced by their partner's vibrators or other sex toys. While vibrators provide a satisfying physical experience, they can't replace the emotional support, pleasure, and intimacy that partners provide. Can a vibrator hug her in the middle of the night? Provide reassurance? Listen to the details of her day?

While your penis may have no vibrating function, you have your and your girlfriend's imagination, emotions, and entire bodies to pleasure however you and your partner desire. If you both want, you can even include her vibrator (if she chooses to get one, that is). You may be surprised at what you both can learn, and feel, when you choose to be sexual together.

Alice

June 26, 2012

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I'd just like to add that you can probably increase her enjoyment if you incorporate a vibrator during sex. My previous girlfriend was very multi orgasmic and I got her a powerful bullet that she...
I'd just like to add that you can probably increase her enjoyment if you incorporate a vibrator during sex. My previous girlfriend was very multi orgasmic and I got her a powerful bullet that she would use. I even held and kissed her afterwards while she had a few more orgasms. I was enjoying her and she enjoyed me. Trust me, toys aren't threats, they're quite fun!