Must I have a bust?

Originally Published: September 11, 1998 - Last Updated / Reviewed On: May 12, 2006
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Dear Alice,

I have really small boobs. I know everybody says it doesn't matter, but I know to guys it does. I'm afraid if I'm doing something with a guy and he feels them, he'll laugh or something. It didn't happen last time, but it could with my new boyfriend. Is this just a confidence problem or something else?

Sincerely,
A member of the itty bitty titty committee

Dear A member of the itty bitty titty committee,

If you were doing something with a guy, and by feeling him you discovered that he had a teeny weenie peenie, would you laugh, or something? Alice bets not, and thinks that as much as some guys are into breasts, they wouldn't launch into a stand-up routin e or anything if your bust turned out to be less than they had bargained for -- take your last mate, for example. And if they did chuckle, or chuck any potential relationship over your "under-average" endowments, then are these the kind of people you'd w ant to spend time with anyway? Wouldn't you rather be with guys and gals who know that we are so much more than our physiques and the things that hang off of them? Look at you: you're smart, thoughtful, and funny. As you build your self-esteem (a life long process even for Dolly Parton and Dirk Diggler), take pride in these assets so undervalued in a media culture hyper-focused on full figures.

This brings up another question: are you pitting your breasts against those regularly bouncing across boob tubes and magazine pages?... an uneven match due in part to today's electronic body-doctoring (see Hairless models: What's their secret? in Alice's General Health archives for more on this practice).

Alice

May 12, 2006

21059

Dear Alice,

RE: Must I have a bust?

I'll just reassure you as to what everyone else is saying. I'm a 34A and was very self conscious of my breasts most of the way through high school...

Dear Alice,

RE: Must I have a bust?

I'll just reassure you as to what everyone else is saying. I'm a 34A and was very self conscious of my breasts most of the way through high school. Finally in my mid twenties I'm able to realize that small breasts are fine! I've had plenty of boyfriends, who like me regardless of my breast size! I also think about how nice it is to not have to wear a bra if I don't want to, especially in the summer with all my cute tops! They don't hurt when I run either! While I do understand how disheartening it can be to be teased, and to be constantly shown pictures of beautiful bikini models with large breasts, start counting the pro's of having small ones!

June 21, 2005

20931
Dear Alice,

Dear Itty-Bitty,

I'm in agreement with all of the people above, including yourself. Like you, I have little boobs. People comment on my figure constantly, so I always feel...

Dear Alice,

Dear Itty-Bitty,

I'm in agreement with all of the people above, including yourself. Like you, I have little boobs. People comment on my figure constantly, so I always feel like I have to wear a padded bra. Small is beautiful & we shouldn't have to be ashamed of who we are. *smile* One day we'll come to appreciate our blessings & see that there is beauty in what makes us different.

P.S. To the 38DD girl: I don't believe it was anyone's intent to make you feel badly about your size. I'm sure you're fine the way you are. However, most women with large breasts are praised for it while small-breasted women are typically made fun of or belittled. In all fairness, I don't think it's necessary for a large-breasted woman to be reassured in this particular area when most men ogle big boobs... that's enough reassurance right there. A small-busted gal is the one who needs to be reminded of how beautiful & sexy & desirable she is, because the media doesn't send that message... we only hear that we need implants & bra fillers, etc. And no offense to the men out there, but a woman should never determine her self-worth based on her physical appearance or what men think of her looks. Ditto for any man who's dissatisfied with his penis size, etc. If you're in a relationship, that stuff should be secondary. *smile*

May 9, 2004

20608
Dear Alice- I wanted to write and respond to a letter from a girl who was worried about her small breast size. She says that guys think about it, and we do, but not as much as everyone thinks. I...
Dear Alice- I wanted to write and respond to a letter from a girl who was worried about her small breast size. She says that guys think about it, and we do, but not as much as everyone thinks. I think she is lucky to have small breasts. My experience has shown me tha t small breasts are much more sensitive and erotic than large breasts. In my opinion, she has absolutely nothing to be worried about. And you were right — breast size is just like penis size. So don't worry about the size — just remember that there are a lot of guys out there who love small breasts.

May 9, 2004

20609
Dear Alice, Dear Itty-Bitty: Take it from me that after a few more decades of life, you'll be happy you aren't big on top. No stretch marks, no hanging down to your waist after forty (even if you...
Dear Alice, Dear Itty-Bitty: Take it from me that after a few more decades of life, you'll be happy you aren't big on top. No stretch marks, no hanging down to your waist after forty (even if you breastfeed), etc., etc. You just haven't had the good fortune to run into a man yet who LIKES small-breasted women. They're out there, and plenty of 'em. I got teased all my young life about being tall, thin, and flat — and I got the last laugh at the reunion, as I looked good without the spread, the sag, the flab, or the surgical tucks :-). Take care, and enjoy your body the way it is. from "Built Like a Snake and Loving It Now"

May 9, 2004

20610
Dear Alice, In response to "Must I have a bust?", all I have to say is this, which an ex-boyfriend always reassured me with: "more than a handful, you risk spraining a thumb; more than a mouthful,...
Dear Alice, In response to "Must I have a bust?", all I have to say is this, which an ex-boyfriend always reassured me with: "more than a handful, you risk spraining a thumb; more than a mouthful, you risk spraining a tongue." There are guys out there who do prefer smaller breasts over larger ones. Satisfied being small

May 9, 2004

20611
Dear Alice, This is a response to Must I Have A Bust? question in Sexuality section. As a gay male, I'm privileged to certain guy talk that women never hear. Most of my male friends say that...
Dear Alice, This is a response to Must I Have A Bust? question in Sexuality section. As a gay male, I'm privileged to certain guy talk that women never hear. Most of my male friends say that overly large breasts, while sometimes nice to fantasize about, are a horrible turn-off during sex. They also say sex is a lot more fun with a girl with smaller breasts, as they're easier to manipulate and have fun with. They've even made it into a motto: "All you need's a handful." So, tell her not to worry. In fact, this fashion-forward fag suggests that she run out and get a tube top that shows off her (itty bitty) titties.

May 9, 2004

20612
Dear Alice, Last week's reader's response about the ittie bittie titties left me, a 38 DD, feeling pretty down. I can't help my size any more than can a flat chested woman, and the comments made me...
Dear Alice, Last week's reader's response about the ittie bittie titties left me, a 38 DD, feeling pretty down. I can't help my size any more than can a flat chested woman, and the comments made me feel quite freakish, especially the one from the gay man. It's time to reassure your buxom readers that men still like the big ones, too!

May 9, 2004

20613
Alice, There are also plenty of men to whom shape is much more important than size. Pert little titties are just as gorgeous as bigger, shapely busts. Both large and small breasts have their...
Alice, There are also plenty of men to whom shape is much more important than size. Pert little titties are just as gorgeous as bigger, shapely busts. Both large and small breasts have their advantages: they offer different visual and physical pleasures, different ways to savor the femininity of women. If I had to make a choice between one and the other, it would ultimately depend upon the woman behind the boobs. I certainly couldn't make a choice based on just the chest alone! Tom

October 23, 1998

20317
Dear Alice, Dear Itty Bitty Titties, Don't sweat it because you have small titties. I am a guy and I can assure you we don't all prefer large breasts. My girlfriend has little titties (sorry I just...
Dear Alice, Dear Itty Bitty Titties, Don't sweat it because you have small titties. I am a guy and I can assure you we don't all prefer large breasts. My girlfriend has little titties (sorry I just affectionately like that word), and I wouldn't trade them for anything. In fact, she feels p retty much the same as you, even though I have always bragged on her and have never given her any reason to feel that way. She has always talked of getting implants, which I strongly hope she never does. Why cut into a perfectly healthy body? Enjoy your small titties. It would probably surprise you how many other guys out there feel the same as me. Real life isn't "Baywatch" — go to the beach and see for yourself.