Kissing with eyes open

Originally Published: September 3, 1999 - Last Updated / Reviewed On: February 11, 2013
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Dear Alice,

My boyfriend kisses with his eyes open. I've heard you are not supposed to trust people who kiss with their eyes open. I naturally kiss with my eyes closed (except to peek occasionally to see if his eyes are open). What's up with kissing with your eyes open?! What does that mean?

Dear Reader,

Maybe it means that your boyfriend wants to see whom he's kissing! Maybe he's doubly turned on because his visual sense is getting stimulation, too. Or, is there something a little alluring about trying things differently? Could the rest of us be missing out here because we've been told by friends or movie stars that you're "supposed to" kiss with your eyes shut? It's true that visual input can also be distracting, so closed eyes when kissing does allow for the fuller touch and taste sensations that give smooching its mass appeal. Why not try it with eyes open the next time you're together? The really close eye contact might be freaky at first, but there's also the potential for an even more intimate experience. At a minimum, you'll be trying to learn more about what makes your partner tick.

Now, if the boyfriend is watching T.V. or keeping an eye on the clock when orally engaged, he's not giving you his undivided attention. That might raise your eyebrows about his less-than-complete respect and intimacy, more than it does concerns about trust. If this is the case, using your tongues for talking about it might ease your angst.

Despite what you've heard, there are no technical kissing rules. You could suck face and knit sweaters at the same time, as long as you're caring for one another in the process.

Alice

February 16, 2015

600316
I am a guy who personally prefers to kiss with my eyes open. I like it better with my eyes open for two reasons. One is that I love the intimacy of eye contact. I could just spend an eternity gazing...
I am a guy who personally prefers to kiss with my eyes open. I like it better with my eyes open for two reasons. One is that I love the intimacy of eye contact. I could just spend an eternity gazing into my girl's eyes. The other is that I just don't like closing my eyes. It's not that I'm paranoid or anything like that, I just prefer to have my eyes open no matter what I'm doing, even when I'm dropping off to sleep. I don't really know why, but it's just not natural for me to close my eyes, never has been. Other people close their eyes when they're aroused, in pleasure, maybe when they're getting into a good song, etc. and I guess that's just a natural "reflexive" reaction for them, but I've never had that reflex. Now, with that said, I'm really hurt by the stigma against guys who like to keep their eyes open while they kiss. The thought that there could be something wrong with it never even occurred to me until I read online where a girl said that her boyfriend did it and it was really "creepy." So I started searching the internet and apparently, this is a very common point of view. This really upsets me because I know I'm not the only one and I feel really sorry for all the people who prefer eye contact and get stuck with someone who thinks it's "creepy" or that they must not be enjoying it if they keep their eyes open, or worst of all that you can't trust a guy who keeps his eyes open while kissing.

December 11, 2012

519998
Alice maybe right there are no kissing rules buy here's why ppl say that you cannot trust someone who kisses with their eyes open.. its something you have to go through to understand. When I was with...
Alice maybe right there are no kissing rules buy here's why ppl say that you cannot trust someone who kisses with their eyes open.. its something you have to go through to understand. When I was with my ex sometimes I closed my eyes, sometimes they were open but when they were open I wasn't feeling the kiss I just wanted to get it over with . Think about it anytime ur aroused or excited you close ur eyes even if its just for a split second . Maybe he liked the kiss but for sure it wasn't giving him butterflies.. I speak from expierene

February 5, 2009

21317
Hi Alice,

I'd just like say, when my current boyfriend and I started dating, he kisses with his eyes open and it did freak me out a little. But then I tried and found it better because I felt more...

Hi Alice,

I'd just like say, when my current boyfriend and I started dating, he kisses with his eyes open and it did freak me out a little. But then I tried and found it better because I felt more connected to him when we shared our gaze. Try it and see what you like best. Who know, you may even like it with your eyes open!