I want to buy a vibrator but...

Originally Published: September 8, 2000 - Last Updated / Reviewed On: October 31, 2008
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Hi Alice,

Lately I was thinking about buying myself a vibrator. My only problem is fear of my parents finding it, and actually buying it. I'm scared to go buy one. There is a place near by that I can go purchase one, but I'm too scared to actually go in the room to look. LOL! Sorry, I feel ridiculous asking this.

Dear Reader,

Your question is not ridiculous — it's healthy to explore and expand one's sexuality. Plus, you are not alone — walking into an adult toy store is unsettling for many people. You've already taken the first step — thinking about buying a vibrator. Here are some possible next steps.

Think about what makes you uneasy about looking at vibrators at the store. Perhaps you are intimidated that there are many to choose from and that you may not know what you want. Maybe you anticipate having questions that you are too embarrassed to ask. Realize that these stores exist because people are interested in what they are selling. Generally speaking, the salespeople are friendly and encourage questions — they want their customers to be satisfied.

Researching the different types of vibrators before you go to the store can help alleviate your anxiety. You can do this by looking at online adult toy stores or perusing mail-order catalogs (by the way, these are two options you can consider if you desire more privacy and/or feel too uncomfortable or embarrassed to make a trip to a shop. You can order their products to be sent to you in discreet packaging.). This way, you will know what to expect when you go to the store.

Once you have an idea of the types of vibrators that are available, you can narrow your choices to find one that will suit you. Purchasing a vibrator is similar to buying a new car. If you are getting a car, you may consider mileage, comfort, features, and color. Now, think of what is important to you when buying a vibrator — here are some questions that will help you decide what kind of toy you want:

  • What do you want to stimulate?
  • Will you use it for insertion?
  • How strong do you want the vibrations?
  • What type of texture and shape do you want?
  • Do you have a favorite color in mind?
  • How much do you want to spend?

Here are three additional questions to think about:

Do you have to be concerned about the noise?
If the walls are thin, or if you are nervous that your parents or roommate(s) might hear things that go buzz in the night, coil-operated electric vibrators may be your best choice. These are the most silent of them all. If you purchase a different type of vibrator, using it while you are under the covers will help muffle the buzz.

Is this discreet?
The shape and size of some vibrators look more discreet than others. For example, purchasing a vibrator advertised as a "personal massager" will be easier to explain if your parents or roommate(s) stumble on your electric or battery operated friend. These vibrators look like a wand and often come with several attachments that are great to use on "sore muscles," such as on your shoulders or back. Aside from buying them at adult toy stores, they can also be purchased at neighborhood drug or department stores.

Where will you keep it?
You mention your fear of your parents finding your vibrator. Is there a "secret" place in your room where you keep personal items, such as a journal or special cards and letters? A reverse psychology approach may work, too. Keeping it in a place where you store other things that aren't worth hiding might not draw attention.

You've done your research and have answered useful questions — now, get ready to go to the store and test drive the merchandise. Walk in the store, with your head held high, as you have every right to be proud — you are taking control of your sexual pleasure! Go to the shelves with the vibrators, check out the selection, and pick up the ones that interest you. Feel the texture and shape with your hands. Turn them on and feel the vibrations. This is a great way to check out the buzz factor and get an idea of how good it will feel.

If your local shop does not have a web site or a catalog, Good Vibrations is one sex-positive company in the United States that sells adult products at 800.BUY.VIBE. There's also Eve's Garden at 800.848.3837 and Toys in Babeland at 800.658.9119. Both businesses are sex toy shops created specifically for women and run by women.

For more information about vibrators, look for Good Vibrations: The New Complete Guide to Vibrators by Joani Blank. Another good guide to take a look at is Betty Dodson's, Sex for One: The Joy of Selfloving. These books can be purchased at local bookstores.

Happy buzzing!

Alice

December 13, 2012

520132
If you're looking for something discreet, I'd definitely look into the Wahl 2-speed massager. It's very reasonably priced, coil-operated (and therefore quiet), powerful, and actually designed for...
If you're looking for something discreet, I'd definitely look into the Wahl 2-speed massager. It's very reasonably priced, coil-operated (and therefore quiet), powerful, and actually designed for general body massage. Good luck!

June 25, 2012

512932
Dear Alice, thanks for the guide, I bought my 1st rabbit vibrator and it does work just fine, I have so powerful ograsm! Thanks again!!
Dear Alice, thanks for the guide, I bought my 1st rabbit vibrator and it does work just fine, I have so powerful ograsm! Thanks again!!

October 28, 2008

21247

Dear Alice,

Shortly after my step mom walked in on me while I was masturbating last year, she gave me and my sister vibrators and even encouraged us to use them. It's one of those that...

Dear Alice,

Shortly after my step mom walked in on me while I was masturbating last year, she gave me and my sister vibrators and even encouraged us to use them. It's one of those that looks like a penis. I was so embarrassed when she walked in on me but this simple gesture melted my shame away. All my friends have them but I couldn't see myself shopping for one. She said she would rather give me one then have me wondering around in some of those dirty stores. We don't even need to hide our toys now from each other. She is cool about those things and said she used them since she was our age and even admitted she still liked to use them several times a week in between having sex. I masturbate a lot more since I got a vibrator I guess because it makes it so easy to do it and my orgasms are so intense now. I thanked her many times for this, which she takes in, and only wish other moms would be as open and encouraging. Everyone should have one.

November 6, 2006

21148

Alice,

I think that a vibrator should be part of every girl's tool kit! I had my first REAL orgasm at 23 with a vibrator. I only thought I knew what an orgasm was until then. Sex in all...

Alice,

I think that a vibrator should be part of every girl's tool kit! I had my first REAL orgasm at 23 with a vibrator. I only thought I knew what an orgasm was until then. Sex in all its forms has been great ever since. I only wish I had the guts to buy one years earlier.

To think that I missed out on those years of pleasure just to avoid others' judgment of me. I might even still be missing out had it not been for a bold friend who bought me one. We need to encourage them and remove their stigma.

Sally, MI

May 12, 2006

21047

Dear Alice,

I have three vibrators and I love them! I have a waterproof one and two other ones...but I have to worry about the noise too! So what I do is wait for my parents to go to bed,...

Dear Alice,

I have three vibrators and I love them! I have a waterproof one and two other ones...but I have to worry about the noise too! So what I do is wait for my parents to go to bed, and then do it because I know that no one's listening..or when I take the waterproof one into the bathroom, I take a boombox, and turn it up...not too loud, but so that its loud enough, and do it in there..but when you reach your orgasm, you can't scream, moan, etc.....I just breath in and out...to repress the moaning..hehe...oh..and I keep it in my closet, in a box where I keep old letters, journals..etc...my parents haven't found it yet, and I've had them for about a year now. So yeah! Have fun!

June 7, 2002

20430
Hi Alice, I like your web site. Just read I want to buy a vibrator but... I would just like to comment. I recently bought one and was very embarrassed about walking into the...
Hi Alice, I like your web site. Just read I want to buy a vibrator but... I would just like to comment. I recently bought one and was very embarrassed about walking into the store — however, I went with a girlfriend and it made it fun and funny. We were cracking up and making jokes about everything. I suggest bringing a close friend along to make it fun. Also, mine looks like a penis, so I put it inside of a sock and stuck it under all my other socks. This way, if anyone "happens" to be looking through that drawer (which they probably would never do), all they will see is a sock!