Dear Alice,
Thank you for the useful information about a kiss to say goodnight.
Could you please also provide some information about what I need
to be careful of while I'm kissing her? (I guess that it's not just
pushing my mouth to hers?!) Please help.
Inexperienced twenty-three-year-old guy
Dear Inexperienced twenty-three-year-old guy,
Learning to kiss is a bit like learning how to ride a bike. You
are scared to try, but it looks like so much fun on TV! Eventually, the
fear subsides and you give it a try. What a thrill
that first ride is, and then... down you go! That's okay, you
had fun, so you know you'll try again. Kissing isn't too much different.
The best thing is, just like riding a bicycle, once you learn, you'll
never forget. Also remember each kiss will be different, depending on who
you are kissing and how you feel about the person.
But you wanted Alice to give you some kissing consideration: You
are absolutely right, you don't want to "just push" your mouth to
hers. It's probably easiest to begin with a peck on the
cheek. Just pucker up, tilt your head a little to the side, gently plant
your lips on the person's cheek, and follow through with the
puckering motion. This might give you the confidence to try kissing
on the lips. It's the same basic movement of your lips, only now the
other person's lips are involved in the action, too, which may make it
a little easier. A few things to bear in mind when going for the big
kiss: do not open your mouth until your lips have reached the
kissee's lips, avoid bumping teeth, and make sure there's no food in
your mouth (as if...!).
Then there's the "French kiss," which involves your and the
other person's tongue. Approach your French kiss gently, with no quick
and sudden movements of your tongue. Avoid what some call "the frog"
(sticking your tongue all the way out inside the kissee's
mouth). Your tongue will most likely be met by the other person's,
and both of you can go from there, figuring out what is pleasurable.
If you want to practice before trying a kiss on a person, try it out on
your arm or your hand (by making a pair of lips with your thumb and index
finger) to see how it feels, or practice with a pillow. Pay close
attention to the face-sucking scenes in movies or TV shows (any soap opera
will suffice).
You'll never know what it's like until you try it. When the opportunity
presents itself, pucker up and go for it! You may be surprised at
how easy and fun kissing can be.
July 30, 2009
Excellent advice Alice. Kissing is one of my favorite parts of intimicy and I've experienced the good, the bad, and the ugly. There are so many subtle techniques that it may seem overwhelming when...
Excellent advice Alice. Kissing is one of my favorite parts of intimicy and I've experienced the good, the bad, and the ugly. There are so many subtle techniques that it may seem overwhelming when you're trying to learn what to do. The good news is they are almost all wonderful.
A few no-no's: No teeth knocking, no crusty chapped lips, no garlic or onions beforehand, and no trying to lick the back of the kissee's throat. Plunging a stiff, unexpected tongue into the kissee's mouth will probably be a big turnoff. And try to keep the spittle under control.
A few tips: Many women love it when their partners hold their head while kissing (gently, please!). It's always a turn on when a guy threads his fingers through my hair and comes in for a kiss like it's serious business. For you gals, I've found an incredible response from my partners when I initiate and navigate the makeout session. Always keep your lips soft and the pressure to a minimum. Never underestimate the value of a gentle nip or nibble of the bottom lip. Testing the open waters? Delicately and sensuously brush your tongue across the kissee's lips to see if they part for you. If so, advance a little at a time. If not, don't stop and ask why... just keep up the good work.
December 3, 2007
Hi,
Try kissing the inside of your wrist just where the thumb meets the wrist. It's the nearest feeling to a good kiss. In all kisses, keep yor lips supple, not tight. Defininately, don't...
Hi,
Try kissing the inside of your wrist just where the thumb meets the wrist. It's the nearest feeling to a good kiss. In all kisses, keep yor lips supple, not tight. Defininately, don't open your mouth too wide! (I've been with women who open all the way and it's not a kiss; my buddies tell me the same story!)
September 18, 2007
Dear Alice and CO,
A few weeks ago I finally told the girl that I love how I felt (First time in love, and I'm 22!). I remember our first kiss vividly. It was awkward at first, but we didn't care....
Dear Alice and CO,
A few weeks ago I finally told the girl that I love how I felt (First time in love, and I'm 22!). I remember our first kiss vividly. It was awkward at first, but we didn't care. My advice to the first kiss, don't think about it! Just do what comes naturally. I love my girlfriend and I didn't know how to kiss, but that didn't stop us. Just go for it. You will get the hang of it eventually (me and my...
May 23, 2006
Alice,
I love your website! Where else could people talk about stuff like this, and it not seem ridiculous? Bravo to anyone brave enough to ask for advice before kissing. I wasn't and I...
Alice,
I love your website! Where else could people talk about stuff like this, and it not seem ridiculous? Bravo to anyone brave enough to ask for advice before kissing. I wasn't and I learned the hard way. As a girl who LOVES to be kissed, I have a little advice, too. First, relax. Your mind and your lips. If they like you enough to let you get that close, you're over the biggest hurdle. Second, people's lips...
October 21, 2005
Alice,
I am 15 but i can totally relate to what everyone's saying because i haven't had my first kiss, either. I can't even talk to my friends about first kisses because they've all had their's...
Alice,
I am 15 but i can totally relate to what everyone's saying because i haven't had my first kiss, either. I can't even talk to my friends about first kisses because they've all had their's but me, so it's kind of awkward. I feel like I'm the only one in my whole entire school who hasn't had their first kiss and it's pretty depressing because I'm basically surrounded by people who have had their first kiss and i...
August 25, 2005
Dear Alice,
I am almost 18, and just had my very first kiss a few weeks ago. I had a crush on this guy for about 6 months when we finally hooked up. I felt so comfortable with him that there wasn...
Dear Alice,
I am almost 18, and just had my very first kiss a few weeks ago. I had a crush on this guy for about 6 months when we finally hooked up. I felt so comfortable with him that there wasn't much pressure, and I even asked him to kiss me, and I am way shy. You just have to relax and be patient. I feel sorry for people who waste their 1st kiss in a game of spin the bottle! Your 1st kiss will be so much more...
August 2, 2005
Dear Alice,
I am 13, and I used freak out about what my first kiss will be like all of the time. I was afraid that if I kissed my boyfriend, that he would dump me because I was a sucky kisser....
Dear Alice,
I am 13, and I used freak out about what my first kiss will be like all of the time. I was afraid that if I kissed my boyfriend, that he would dump me because I was a sucky kisser. You have made me feel much more confident about making the first move and and I can't thank you enough!!!!!!! I don't know what I'd do without you!!!!!!!!!!!!!
—Scared no more
September 16, 2004
Dear Alice,
Dear Freaked out,
I am sixteen, too, and when I tell someone I have never been kissed, they are shocked about it, but it gives them respect for me, too. I guess it depends on...
Dear Alice,
Dear Freaked out,
I am sixteen, too, and when I tell someone I have never been kissed, they are shocked about it, but it gives them respect for me, too. I guess it depends on who you are, but you should not worry what others think about you because you should be proud of who you are and what you can do.
— signed,
Meagan — the still never been kissed
May 19, 2004
Alice,
Thank you so much for that answer. I found your answer to that question
while I was searching Yahoo for "How to kiss for the first time" because I
WAS so scared because I never have...
Alice,
Thank you so much for that answer. I found your answer to that question
while I was searching Yahoo for "How to kiss for the first time" because I
WAS so scared because I never have before and I have been to all these
other sites which don't help at all and you've covered everything I need
to know. You have given me so much courage I can't tell you. You're a
savior, again. THANKS...
January 30, 2004
Dear Alice,
While looking through all of the files of the "how to kiss" section, I was quite surprised to find out that no one has mentioned the "sucking" part of French kissing.
What I'm referring...
Dear Alice,
While looking through all of the files of the "how to kiss" section, I was quite surprised to find out that no one has mentioned the "sucking" part of French kissing.
What I'm referring to is the inhalation of each partner to create the suction within their mouths when they are exchanging tongues. Experimenting with blowing out through the nose and continuing the inhalation within the mouth is something...
July 21, 2000
alice,
I'd just like to say, that after reading some of your advice on the
subject of KISSING, I felt brave enough to kiss my girlfriend for the
first time, which also happens to be my first time...
alice,
I'd just like to say, that after reading some of your advice on the
subject of KISSING, I felt brave enough to kiss my girlfriend for the
first time, which also happens to be my first time ever kissing a girl.
I'd also like to say to everyone else out there that Alice is right! It's
fun, AND really easy! So guys and girls who are hesitant to make that
first move, just get up and go for it if you think...
May 17, 1996
Dear Alice,
Something more on kissing from one who has done a lot of it! No
actual smacking noises, no noises at all except for the occasional
moan, sigh, or murmuring of the kissee's name (...
Dear Alice,
Something more on kissing from one who has done a lot of it! No
actual smacking noises, no noises at all except for the occasional
moan, sigh, or murmuring of the kissee's name (correct name, open
eyes to check if necessary). Speaking of open eyes: very distracting
if both do it, comical actually. Also, don't pass up the opportunity to
gently nuzzle the throat, the side part of it, and stroke the...
