Graceful way to take off condom?

Originally Published: November 1, 1993 - Last Updated / Reviewed On: July 20, 2007
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Hey Ho!

I am a male undergrad who has never had sex before, but I am currently in a relationship in which I may soon. This sounds silly, but after sex, is there a graceful way to remove and discard a condom without ruining the moment? I am not exactly uncomfortable about any of this, but it does seem like a slightly unpleasant maneuver... or not?

Signed,
A "Sheathed" Panoose

Dear A "Sheathed" Panoose,

Congratulations on being committed to using a condom the first time! That way, you'll be in the habit of using condoms for sex. You deserve a pat on the back for protecting yourself in the sack. As for taking off the condom after your first time, it can help to do it with a joke, sigh, or moan. You might also want to keep a trashcan or a tissue handy to throw away the used condom.

In addition, you can rest much easier if you use the proper technique to remove the condom. Start by pulling out of your partner right after ejaculation, while your penis is still hard. Make sure you hold the base of the condom when you pull out so the condom stays on. Then, while still holding the base of the condom, slide the condom off the penis, being careful to keep the semen inside of the condom and away from your partner. The condom can be tied off, and it should be thrown away in the trash, not the toilet. If you get some semen on your hands or body, you may want to wash yourself off before getting back in bed. (If you're still feeling uneasy about being smooth when the time comes, you can always perfect your moves by practicing on your own.)

While you're up, be a gentleman by putting on some underwear or offering your partner his or hers before getting back in bed. Even if there aren't any other plans for penetration, body fluids can still be exposed and exchanged, which may lead to pregnancy or sexually transmitted infections (STIs).

Hats off to you, 
Alice

November 13, 1998

20318

Dear Alice,

I just thought I would write in response to the guy who was wondering about how to gracefully take off a condom. I was reading this out loud to some of the other girls in my...

Dear Alice,

I just thought I would write in response to the guy who was wondering about how to gracefully take off a condom. I was reading this out loud to some of the other girls in my dorm, and it got quite a discussion going. Basically, the consensus was this: whether or not a woman experiences a man as a good lover has a lot to do with details exactly like this one. When a man is careful to pull himself out of your body gently and tenderly, remembering that you might be a little sore and sensitive too, it's really wonderful, and then when he doesn't turn away from you while he takes the condom off, but stays attentive to you, it can make all the difference in whether or not you perceive him as "fun in bed" (and whether or not you'll come back for more!). I think it's so strange that men are always trying to be good lovers by developing "stamina" when things like respect and attention are so much more of a turn on for women.

As long as we're on the subject of graceful condom usage, I just wanted to add that putting on a condom need not be a break in the romantic mood; on the contrary, if the man you're with does it without complaining and with a sense of humor if he runs into glitches, then it can be an immensely exciting moment. The man I'm with now is so good about it that when we're together I get amazingly turned on just watching him put on a condom, and actually, much like the Pavlovian experiment, I even get turned on at other times of day at the mere sight of the box of condoms we have next to the bed. This is all just to say that whether or not a woman experiences a man as a good lover has a lot to do with these condom details, because after all, condoms are a great way for him to demonstrate his respect for you, as well as his regard for your health and well-being (to say nothing of his own.)

January 1, 1994

20294

Dear Alice,

Here's a tidbit of advice for the guy who wanted to know what to with his condom after sex: The first woman I had sex with taught me to completely unroll the condom from my...

Dear Alice,

Here's a tidbit of advice for the guy who wanted to know what to with his condom after sex: The first woman I had sex with taught me to completely unroll the condom from my penis and then tie a knot in it to close the open end and keep the semen inside. My current lover who has a fair amount of sexual experience had never seen this before and finds it quite endearing.

Signed, Still experimenting!