Hi Alice,
I would like to point out some great natural highs that lots of people love. Get extreme! Go skydiving or bungee jumping, or learn an exciting sport like snowboarding. That's the...
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Dear Alice,
I think it would be a good idea for me to stop smoking marijuana and cut down on my drinking, at least during the school year. The problem is, I have been doing it for so long it is almost as though I have forgotten how to have fun without it. Contributing to this problem is the fact that many of my friends smoke or drink to have fun. Many of my other friends just do not seem to have fun at all; they stay in Friday and Saturday nights to do work. I've found it difficult to quit, I think because I'm just not sure of what's out there to do that's fun without being stoned or drunk. Can you recommend anything that's fun whether you're intoxicated or sober, so that I don't have to stop hanging out with certain friends if I want to relax and have fun? I know, it's NYC and there are a bazillion things to do, so why am I bored? Well, another factor is expense -- it costs around $20 to go to a nightclub, for example, and I don't really like "the scene." I want to finally enjoy life without relying on an altered state of consciousness. What's there to do when you're sick of renting movies? Also, any tips for resisting the urge to take people up on their offer to toke up? (I'm never pressured into it, but it's like the dieter who's offered some chocolate cake -- it's there, it looks sooo good, and the fact that other people are doing it makes it seem more "okay.") Thanks so much.
— Baked or Bored
Dear Baked or Bored,
It is exciting and refreshing to picture you at the beginning of your journey to fun and fulfillment without always tanking and toking up to reach this destination. You acknowledge at the outset that your trip (no pun intended) will be full of obstacles, challenges, temptations, and other potholes that might slow you down, or send you back to the starting line. Reducing any degree of psychological or physical dependence does not occur overnight, and can be realized through measured reductions in use of, in your case, alcohol and marijuana.
With your question, you have clearly begun to consult a map and ask for directions before your cast off. You don't have to stop here! Talking with a counselor at your school who can help you define specific goals, like how much you want to cut back, and at what pace, might also make for a smoother ride. Sharpening your awareness of your social, academic, professional, and spiritual interests can go a long way toward finding a few of those "bazillion" activities you mentioned. And make pit stops along the way, checking in with your counselor, or a supportive friend or relative, who can help you stay on course.
Tempting detours, like ever-present alcohol or that stray joint, might also be averted by some planning. Think about how you will respond if someone encourages you to have a drink or take a hit: maybe you could say, "Thanks, but I'm cutting back for a while," or "No, I have a big urine test tomorrow." Set limits for yourself (and state them to others, if appropriate) if you choose to place yourself in situations where alcohol and other drugs are present. Learning yoga, meditation, and other relaxation techniques have helped many on the same road to "dry fun" cope with stress resulting from this change in lifestyle, as well as provide motivation for improving mind-body health. Don't forget to consider physical activity in this category, too.
Look for groups whose activities match some of your non-drug interests. Maybe organizations that work toward a cause in which you strongly believe, athletic groups, political campaigns, reading circles, writing and theatrical clubs, or professional organizations will be the ticket. These groups are usually free and full of people who fall somewhere between "drug-reliant" and "bookworm." Staying on this trail, how about activities where drugs just wouldn't quite cut it?
- Working out at the gym (also free at most universities)
- Museum hopping (most are heavily discounted for students with IDs)
- In-line skating or biking
- Taking tours of different NYC neighborhoods
- Or going up to the top of the Empire State Building (natural highs, anyone?).
Peruse Time Out New York magazine and the New York City section of bookstores for publications of cheap and free offerings. Last, but not least, keep your eyes open for flyers and posters on bulletin boards for similar samplings.
If you are at a school or university, contact student activities for information about student organizations you can use as resources. At Columbia, the Student Development and Activities office lists all of the student organizations on campus. If none of this works, you may have a different problem from the one you have described. At Columbia, Counseling and Psychological Services (CPS) at x4-2878 can help you out with counseling and support group needs. At other campuses, contact health services for similar resources.
Thanks for your question... and your perspective.
March 7, 2008
Hi Alice,
I would like to point out some great natural highs that lots of people love. Get extreme! Go skydiving or bungee jumping, or learn an exciting sport like snowboarding. That's the far end of the spectrum, but there's a couple other great ways to feel excited and exhilarated AWESOME even on a smaller scale (and budget). Get a season pass to the nearest theme or amusement park, and ride roller coasters and thrill rides! My mom's a roller coaster addict, and she wears it works better than her antidepressants even weeks after a theme park trip.
You said you were sick of renting movies, but go to the movie theatre, and watch comedies or scary movies for some laughs or thrills. Or best yet, pick up some kind of hobby that involves performing. Take a group voice class where you sing in front of people, or sing karaoke at the bowling alley, or get involved with live theatre or a dance performance class. The high after being on stage in front of an audience is unbeatable.
January 2, 2006
Dear Alice,
RE: Fun without drugs?
Sounds like you're addicted, get some professional help. Also, the "$20 for a night club is too expensive excuse" is lame, since obviously you have to...
Dear Alice,
RE: Fun without drugs?
Sounds like you're addicted, get some professional help. Also, the "$20 for a night club is too expensive excuse" is lame, since obviously you have to BUY booze and drugs too right? Having fun doing anything is all a state of mind. If you believe you can't have fun without getting high, then you probably won't. Just stop depending on alcohol and narcotics, grow up, and start living your life with a clear head. Oh, and even though it'll be tough, if you really want to change your lifestyle for the better, you need to stay away from your alcoholic/druggy friends. It is too tempting for you to resist. Be proud of yourself, stay sober, you can do it!