During sex, you should: (a) grunt, (b) moan, or (c) talk?

Originally Published: September 20, 2002 - Last Updated / Reviewed On: December 26, 2008
Share this

Dear Alice,

Should you talk during sex or just make grunting and moaning noises?

Dear Reader,

Why not, (d) ALL OF THE ABOVE? The best answer to your reasonable question would most certainly include talking with your partner about whether it would be okay to chat a bit while sexually engaged.

Grunting and moaning, and even silence, by themselves aren't bad, but like cave dwellers from yesteryear, these sounds can limit your expressing what's really on your mind, and may foster misunderstanding and miscommunication about what you do and don't want. This raises another question: do you have an idea of what you'd like to say to your partner during sex? Sex talkers' "conversations" range from a slow, seductive shower of compliments such as, "Your eyes look so beautiful... you're so hot... you feel so good... you're so hairy;" to the fantasy-filled, "Being stranded on this deserted island with you means we can stay here forever;" to the more direct, "I want you" or "I love you." You can also gather information about what rocks your companion's boulders, and how s/he should pet your dinosaur — in the name of more enjoyable, consensual, and safer sex.

And, for those who long for lengthier sex-play, discussing amongst yourselves while doing it can be a nice remedy for the "Oh, baby... yeah... I'm... Goodnight" syndrome.

One of the great things about intimacy between people is that, with trust and respect established, you can feel safe and sure to know that whatever is said stays with both of you, bringing you closer.

Alice

December 18, 2008

21257

Good advice Alice.

Make any sounds that you want to. Complete silence though makes me wonder if the person is enjoying themselves. Sometimes sex is funny so you can laugh, or talk during...

Good advice Alice.

Make any sounds that you want to. Complete silence though makes me wonder if the person is enjoying themselves. Sometimes sex is funny so you can laugh, or talk during or after. Cuddling afterwards in each others arms is always nice. Appreciating what someone is doing for you is always good.

September 27, 2002

20452
Alice, What to say during sex? If you have any talent, try singing! A sexy song in your partner's ear is great. My boyfriend does it all the time and I love it. -turned on.
Alice, What to say during sex? If you have any talent, try singing! A sexy song in your partner's ear is great. My boyfriend does it all the time and I love it. -turned on.