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How do you think I should go about coming out of the closet to my mother?
Dear Reader,
Bravo to you for the desire to be honest with your mother and to be more true to yourself.
The direct approach would be, "Hi mom, I'm gay... this is important to me, and I would like to talk with you about it." Or, "I'm a lesbian... if you'd like, we can discuss what this means." This "cut-to-the-chase" method can get you right to the "where will we go from here" stage, cutting out much of the agony that commonly precedes publicly saying, "I'm gay, lesbian, or bisexual." Another approach is: "Mom and Dad, there's something important I'd like to talk with you about. You know how much your love and support mean to me. I'm depending on your strength when I talk with you about this." Or, "Do you remember when we watched [insert gay-themed TV show/movie title here] together? Well...." However, being that direct may be painfully difficult for both parent and child.
There really is no one right way to come out. So, in lieu of a litany of suggestions for direct and indirect coming out strategies, here are some suggested readings from the many books on the subject along with organizations that will likely boost your confidence and generate a variety of ideas during this important process:
- Outing Yourself, by Michaelangelo Signorile
- Coming Out to Parents, by Mary Borhek
- Is It a Choice?, by Eric Marcus
- Now That You Know: What Every Parent Should Know About Homosexuality, by Betty Fairchild and Nancy Hayward
- The National Coming Out Project: 800.866.6263
- The Gay and Lesbian National Hotline A nationwide toll-free peer counseling, information, and referral line 888.THE.GLNH (843.4564) [4:00 PM - 12:00 midnight EST (M - F); 12 noon - 5:00 PM EST (Sa)]
If you're at
Good luck and congrats,
