Masturbation

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How do you spell relief without masturbating?

Dear Reader,

Since your sexual tension may, understandably, be mixed with the emotional weight of your spouse's absences, an ongoing dialogue with him about how his time away affects you might ease some of your load. And don't wait to chat when he's home -- use the Internet as a vehicle for frequent conversations if he has easy access. If plain loneliness is part of his travel fallout, think about increasing your contact with friends, relatives, and others who may be in your same boat.

On the physical side of the divide, massage immediately comes to mind. Since longing for your husband's intimate touch is surely tied up in your sexual tension, a professional rub down might just satisfy some of your "skin hunger." No, a licensed massage therapist (LMT) won't (and shouldn't) maneuver like your Colonel, but massage therapy can serve up the right combination of touch and tension relief to get you through his tours of duty. For more info on how to find a masseur or masseuse in your area -- including ones for military wives on a budget - read Seeking massage therapist in Alice's General Health archive.

Yoga, meditation, tai chi, and other attention-focusing practices may bring you mental and physical peace, dissipating your sexual strain by releasing your bottled-up energy and directing it elsewhere. Merely relaxing and getting your mind off of, well, getting off will no doubt result from these kinds of techniques. For that matter, a hobby or volunteering could do the same. Good old-fashioned exercise is an option, too -- nothing like a hundred push-ups or a run in the park to spend the sexual energy. Even some sensual Latin, Mediterranean, or freestyle dancing in the privacy of your living room could do the trick. Just find what is right for you, and to be fair, it's possible for all of these suggestions to produce the opposite of the desired effect, sending your urges to even higher altitudes.

If, for you, masturbation means self-stimulation that includes orgasm, then would self-stimulation that stops or pauses before climax be an option? It is possible to be satisfied sexually even if you decide to forgo the "big O." Another alternative is self-massage, using lotion or during a hot bath or steamy shower. After you've pondered or pursued these suggestions along with your own ideas, you may conclude that finding a release valve equal to private time with your husband is mission impossible. But this doesn't mean that answering and enjoying your natural desires can't be a mission accomplished.

Alice

Bed humping = Bad habit?

Dear Anonymous,

By "bed humping," you no doubt mean masturbating with a little help from your mattress; i.e., rubbing your body/genitals against the bed, or plunging your penis (if you have one) between the mattress and box spring. You can sleep a lot easier knowing that guys and girls have been making love to their mattresses ever since they rolled off the assembly line — this is the way some experience their first orgasms.

You're hard and/or randy, it's hard and ready; it's in the privacy of your bedroom, and you spend a third of your life sleeping with it. Are you abnormal? Certainly not! Do you need to introduce your form-fitting friend to anyone else? No. Will you end up marrying your mattress, giving birth to little sleeping bags, and living happily ever after without ever doing it with another human? Highly unlikely. Side effects associated with bed humping might include mattress burn and/or a restricted exit path for your ejaculate if pressure around the penis is king size. And aside from being walked in on, stains might give you guys away, but a tissue, towel, or condom can take care of this.

Though bedding the mattress might be what gets your motor running now, mixing up masturbation methods increases the ways in which a person orgasms by themselves and/or with others. Interested in trying something new to light your fire? Check out the Go Ask Alice! Masturbation archives for more information and inspiration.

Alice

June 15, 2015

607873
I thought I was the only one for so many years thx
I thought I was the only one for so many years thx

December 10, 2014

594022
Only today I found out what it was I was doing against my bed. I cant believe other people do it too
Only today I found out what it was I was doing against my bed. I cant believe other people do it too

November 19, 2014

591693
Haha! I've been doing the same thing for many years now. It is so embarrassing but I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one.
Haha! I've been doing the same thing for many years now. It is so embarrassing but I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one.

July 9, 2012

513524
This is hilarious, but thank you so much for writing it. I thought I was alone in my oddness.
This is hilarious, but thank you so much for writing it. I thought I was alone in my oddness.

Auto-erotic asphyxiation

Dear Reader,

Auto-erotic asphyxiation (AEA) is the practice of cutting off the blood supply to the brain through self-applied suffocation methods while masturbating. By limiting the blood supply to the brain, AEA can induce cerebral anoxia, a deficiency of oxygen in the brain. Oxygen deficiency in the brain is thought to intensify sensations, producing feelings of giddiness, lightheadedness, or exhilaration that can heighten the orgasmic experience. It's also possible that the helplessness and self-endangerment inherent in the AEA enhance sexual gratification for some people.

Of course, this same self-endangerment that may provide a thrill to the person carrying out AEA also weakens one's self-control and judgment, which can result in accidental death. Because of taboos surrounding AEA, the practice almost always remains a secret until a person dies accidentally. Although a death from AEA may often be labeled as a homicide or suicide, It's estimated that between 500 and 1000 deaths occur annually in the United States from this type of masturbation. Both men and women can participate in AEA. 

Depending on how long the brain and body are deprived of oxygen, brain damage could occur even if death does not.  A person participating in AEA also risks lacerating, cutting, or bruising their neck, depending on the suffocation or strangulation technique used. 

Auto-erotic asphyxiation is a dangerous activity because of the risk of death and brain damage. For those interested, a safer option would be to fantasize about suffocation, rather than trying to walk the fine line between heightened sensation and serious brain impairment.        

Alice

Don't dismiss masturbation myths!

Dear Reader,

At the risk of sounding like a broken record, or worse yet, dismissive of your concerns, the real "harm" here is not physical. It's all the worry, shame, and conflict attached to masturbation by so many men, women, and children, thanks to negative associations with all kinds of sex — done by one's self and with others. These messages come from so many influential places — often for most of one's lifetime. It may not be true for you, but this cloud that hangs over many masturbators might send some looking for physical "harm" from this popular practice. It can be a way of justifying any bad feelings and beliefs about masturbation that might never allow going it alone totally okay.

That said, your "blame-it-on-masturbation" reasoning is understandable. If one sprouts hair in "strange" places, sports dark circles under the eyes, and says goodbye to those always reliable erections during and after stretches of solo-sex, one could easily conclude that these unwanted reactions came on as a result of whacking off. Then, could it not also be said that hair loss, far-sightedness, and love handles also owe it to masturbation? And what about greater self-confidence, career changes, and the urge to buy property? The point: is it possible that all of these occurrences stem from something besides genital stimulation? Might aging also be the culprit?

It may not come up 'round the copier and coffee table, but many twenty- and thirtysomethings now include unsightly nose and ear hair plucking in their regular grooming routine. They'd also put down difficulty with getting it up and keeping it there as a getting older symptom. Bags under the eyes? Yep, that's on the list, too.

If you're not convinced that masturbation doesn't play a direct role in the physical "consequences" that you're now experiencing, how about conducting an experiment? Masturbate less often, or refrain from doing it for a few months, and see if your symptoms disappear. NOTE: not "relieving" yourself for an extended period of time may lead to other unwanted physical and psychological situations, including irritability, difficulty concentrating, insomnia, and wet dreams. Now, it is possible that any stress, guilt, disgust, etc. with your personal sex play is making it harder to get and stay hard — these feelings are frequently powerful obstructions to sexual arousal. Also, if you're masturbating past your bedtime, dark circles may stare back at you the next morning.

It sounds as though you've read at least some of the archived Q&As on this subject; for those who have not, below is a partial selection, with some varied perspectives on the big M.

Alice

Pumping pillow with penis for pleasure?

Dear N.B.,

You're welcome, and thank you for reading.

Pretending that pillows are sex partners, or getting intimate with them because they're soft, warm, form fitting, and always available, is probably as normal and common as changing the sheets and putting on pajamas. Equally normal is "making love" to the mattress, the ol' penis between the mattress and box spring trick, and humping the whole damn bed! And these masturbation options aren't exclusive and exciting to guys; women do their fair share of rubbing, bouncing, and squeezing, too.

Although beds can be a bountiful source of stimulation, varying one's modes of masturbation is important, to have more than one way to orgasm and/or ejaculate. Indeed, hands are handy, and you can use them in many different ways: applying differing amounts of pressure, using your less dominant hand, moving at different speeds or changing the rhythm, using lotion or lube, etc. This way, if/when one has sex with another person, his or her body will be more likely to respond to the more varied kinds of stimulation.

Hats off and sweet dreams to all who masturbate "out of the box." You know that hands will certainly suffice, but the bed, bath, and beyond can be really, really nice — for a change.

Alice

Erection detection

Dear J,

Ahh… classic reflections on erections. Simply put, the answer to your question is no. Neither your past masturbation and porn viewing, nor your decision to stop sexually stimulating yourself is directly causing your erections. These uninvited arousals may be frustrating, but your body is simply paying attention to emotional and physical stimulation. Plus, the fact that you’ve got a special gal in your life who makes you (and your body) so excited may not be such a bad thing! Although erections can certainly be a cue for doin’ the deed, all they really mean is that you're mentally and physically alert, chock full of naturally produced, stimulating hormones, alive, and, yes, very normal.

For sure, releasing your sexual energy by choosing to masturbate may reduce the frequency of your erections — but that decision is entirely up to you. The good news is that you’ve got a whole arsenal of options for those times when you find yourself unexpectedly “standing at attention” downstairs. For example, if your girlfriend ever does notice a suspicious bulge, you could always spin it as a compliment: your erection is a reflection that you’re truly happy to be with her. If gabbing about gonads isn’t quite your style, though, a few other options you could consider include:

  • Wearing brief-style underwear that is a bit tighter to your body could keep your erection “under cover” (so that it would bulge more like an igloo instead of a tent).
  • Strategically placing a nearby bag, notebook, or other item on your lap or wearing a longer shirt or sweatshirt could help keep it out of sight.
  • Thinking about your school work, something sad, or another turn-off can encourage flaccidity.
  • When all else fails, divert her attention with a romantic (yet distracting) musing. Saying something like “Look at how beautiful the stars are tonight (they’re almost as beautiful as you)!” could keep her eyes averted elsewhere for a few precious moments, and also win you some sweet-guy brownie points.

It may also be worth thinking through how you and your girlfriend feel about erections and masturbation. You said that you’re not planning to have sex until marriage, but you might consider having an honest conversation with each other about what that will mean. For example, you can explain to her that just because you’re getting erections doesn’t mean that you’re trying to “get it on” with her at that very moment. Perhaps opening up with her about your past history with porn and masturbation could also help take some of the pressure off you (and your “manhood”). Keeping your feelings to yourself could lead you to only feel more emotionally (and sexually) frustrated. If you choose to masturbate, consider reading Beatless in Seattle: Masturbation stops when relationship begins to explore ways to think and talk about what role masturbation could play in your life even when you’re in a relationship. In the end, remember that spontaneous erections are a part of being a warm-blooded and healthy male.

Alice

Dr. Do Diddle: Pre-med masturbation and productivity

Dear Reader,

You don't have to be a doctor to know that masturbation (whether once per week, or once per hour) does not cause memory loss, decreased brain power, fatigue, or depression — that is, unless you're doing it instead of school work, socializing, eating, sleeping, bathing, etc. Your stress about your normal masturbation pattern, combined with the energy you use "trying not to do it," might even decrease your productivity far more than playing doctor with yourself would. It would be surprising to learn that Einstein, Curie, and Spock didn't take stimulating study breaks themselves. And look what masterful work they accomplished!

Remember, energy is neither created nor destroyed. So go ahead and release that sexual energy. You might even be able to convert it into an "A" on that anatomy test!

Alice

Masturbating roommates

Dear straight,

You have strong friendships, you're in school, you're able to feel and express affection, and you can clearly consider and communicate your feelings. And sometimes you masturbate with your roommate. You're as normal as a one-dollar bill. In fact, your willingness to reach out for information is evidence that you are able to address with your concerns in a healthy way.

Are you the only straight masturbating friends on earth? Well, since this topic has been raised by plenty of past Go Ask Alice! readers, the answer is clearly NO. The fact of the matter is that masturbation is normal and healthy, whether you're next to your roommate or solo. However, considering the negative messages that many people receive about masturbation and homosexuality, your angst is understandable. It may help to consider why you are concerned about masturbating with your roommate. Could your concern stem simply from guilt you feel about masturbation itself, whether it's alone or with someone else? (The guilt issue is discussed at length in the masturbation section of the Sexual and Reproductive Health archive.) Or, are you wondering whether you might now, or later, be bi or gay? You could also be wondering what your roommate and best friend thinks of your dual diddling; have you had a chance to discuss it with him?

Keep this in mind: normal, monkey-spanking men come in all sexualities. Normal, monkey-spanking roommates also come in all sexualities. If you enjoy masturbating with your roommate, and it's not interfering with your friendship, school, or work, go ahead. If you stop enjoying sharing this type of activity, you can stop. Either choice would be normal and healthy, as long as you feel comfortable.

Alice

December 15, 2008

21501
Thanks a lot Alice.

You saved my friendship. Very recently, me and my friend were watching porn together and got so excited that we both started masturbating together. But after that, both of us...

Thanks a lot Alice.

You saved my friendship. Very recently, me and my friend were watching porn together and got so excited that we both started masturbating together. But after that, both of us were feeling guilty and out of embarrassment we were not talking to each other. After reading this article I felt a great relief and talked about it to my friend. Now both of us are back in our normal relationship. Thanks a lot once again.

March 7, 2008

21414

Thanks Alice.

I was worried about this until I read your advice. My roommate and I stopped hiding our masturbation from each other out of necessity. Our need is very big but our room is...

Thanks Alice.

I was worried about this until I read your advice. My roommate and I stopped hiding our masturbation from each other out of necessity. Our need is very big but our room is very small. We became very comfortable with it and sometimes even help each other out now. Sadly for him, he often has difficulty reaching orgasm and needs help. This has also helped me enjoy masturbating much more. I was very unsure of myself but he assured me it was very common among roommates and had nothing to do with sexual preference. I see he was correct. I thanked him for helping me see this and allow myself to enjoy it. Thank you too.

May 9, 2004

20637
Alice, on masturbating roommates: i am a nineteen-year-old male. my roomie and i masturbate each other. we have no problems. we are both str8. we are just best buds and want...
Alice, on masturbating roommates: i am a nineteen-year-old male. my roomie and i masturbate each other. we have no problems. we are both str8. we are just best buds and want to make each other feel good.

May 9, 2004

20638
Alice, In the first place, there's a lot of masturbation in college dorms all over the country, not just here. Guys who are roommates generally develop an understanding about this. My roomie and I...
Alice, In the first place, there's a lot of masturbation in college dorms all over the country, not just here. Guys who are roommates generally develop an understanding about this. My roomie and I are comfortable enough with each other so it's no big deal. We are both straight, real-guys who deal with the realities of nature together. Stuff like that is endemic on every college campus. Greg, 19

June 14, 2002

20433
I was worried and read MASTURBATING ROOMMATES and several responses. I was worried because I did this, too. I did it regularly with my bunkmate at summer camp. He was much...
I was worried and read MASTURBATING ROOMMATES and several responses. I was worried because I did this, too. I did it regularly with my bunkmate at summer camp. He was much older and knew a lot more, so he made me feel comfortable about it. But later, I felt guilty and thought it might mean I was gay or strange since I enjoyed it so much and so often initiated it. I have been doing it with a neighbor after school all this year. Knowing how common, normal, and even healthy it is has lifted my doubt and guilt. I am enjoying my need and sharing the experience with a friend of similar need. Thanks.

Masturbating stats: Are there gender differences and why?

Dear Wants to learn more,

Many women masturbate, but they haven't beaten the men when it comes to solo sex frequency... at least not yet. Statistically speaking, various studies of the sexual behavior of men and women detailed connections between gender and self-stimulation. The authors of The Social Organization of Sexuality (Edward O. Laumann, John H. Gagnon, Robert T. Michael, and Stuart Michaels; University of Chicago Press, 1994) gathered information about masturbatory practices from face-to-face interviews and self-administered questionnaires of 2,969 men and women ranging in age from 18 to 59 years. The researchers found that 41.7 percent of women and 63.3 percent of men masturbated during the year studied. According to The Janus Report on Sexual Behavior (Samuel S. Janus and Cynthia L. Janus; John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 1993), based on a large-scale, nationwide survey of adult Americans ages 18 and up conducted between 1983 and 1992, 10 percent of women reported masturbating frequently (several times weekly or daily) vs. 25 percent of men. Similarly, 38 percent of women reported masturbating on a regular basis (monthly to daily) in comparison to 55 percent of men. The Kinsey Institute also published statistics about gender differences in masturbation. They were compiled from renowned sex researcher Alfred Kinsey's studies on the sexual behavior of men and women. According to Dr. Kinsey's 1948 and 1953 studies, based on detailed interviews with white American adults, 92 percent of men and 62 percent of women reported that they had masturbated.

Several reasons have been suggested to account for the lower percentage of women (vs. men) who have ever masturbated. Women are considered "good" when they adhere to their traditional sex role: to be sexually passive, naive, and dependent -- basically, to be nonsexual. Sexually experienced and independent women are frequently seen as threatening and "loose."

In addition, in many cultures, women are raised to believe that their genitals are repulsive and inferior to those of men. They're also encouraged to repress their sexual feelings until marriage, when sex is for the purposes of procreation and pleasing their husband. A woman learns that she is to receive sexual pleasure only from sexual intercourse (not from touching or oral sex, and especially not from masturbation) with her husband (not with anyone else or by herself). If a woman with a partner masturbates, it is often seen as though there's something wrong with her relationship. Likewise, if a woman is without a partner, masturbating is seen as an act of loneliness.

Not only is there a taboo for women to masturbate, but there's also a greater taboo against talking about it. No doubt, for some women (and some men), talking about sex can also be awkward, so shyness, as you mentioned in your question, may be another, though lesser, factor. It doesn't have to be this way. Masturbation is a healthy and natural part of sexuality. It enables people to learn about their own bodies and genitals as well as to recognize and develop their sexual responses or orgasms. It also helps to foster communication in intimate relationships by making it easier for partners to identify and express what feels good physically and sexually for them and to each other. Candid discussions about sexuality and sexual pleasure can help free women (and men) from the historically negative influences that have bound and prevented some women (and some men) from discovering, exploring, and enjoying their sexual selves. These conversations can make it easier to break the taboos and myths about masturbation and can encourage women (and men) to reach their healthy, sex-positive goals.

Here are some resources for more information:

Sex for One: The Joy of Self-Loving, by Betty Dodson

For Yourself: The Fulfillment of Female Sexuality, by Lonnie G. Barbach

Yellow Silk: Erotic Arts and Letters, by Lily Pond and Richard Russo (editors)

Alice's Sexuality archive (with a section about masturbation)

Alice

January 22, 2013

522166
Ha! I always wish I could be part of these studies! I'm a 26 yr old woman, and I've known that my genitals produced much pleasure ever since I was 5. Obviously, it wasn't really sexual til I got my...
Ha! I always wish I could be part of these studies! I'm a 26 yr old woman, and I've known that my genitals produced much pleasure ever since I was 5. Obviously, it wasn't really sexual til I got my period at age 10...then the feelings changed from "always relaxing" to "usually intense". For the past 6 years or so, I've masturbated at least 5 days a week. I'm very highly sexed...but my lover's job keeps him traveling a lot. Even when he is home, he thinks my masturbating is sexy, so we usually incorporate it into our regular sex sessions. Of course, I love watching him too! In my opinion, 62% of women admit to masturbating.

January 17, 2013

521844
This is the perfect blog for anyone who wants to know about this topic. Thank you for sharing!
This is the perfect blog for anyone who wants to know about this topic. Thank you for sharing!

June 29, 2009

21570
Dear Alice,

I am a female and I masturbate quite regularly, sometimes twice a day. I believe that women pleasure themselves often but just do not talk about because it has been percieved by...

Dear Alice,

I am a female and I masturbate quite regularly, sometimes twice a day. I believe that women pleasure themselves often but just do not talk about because it has been percieved by society as "dirty" for women whereas for men it's a given because society feel men are more sex focused then women.

September 25, 2006

21128
Alice,

I had such a rocky time when I discovered masturbation at the age of thirteen — I thought it was something dirty, and I was terrified that someone would walk in on me. I also was convinced...

Alice,

I had such a rocky time when I discovered masturbation at the age of thirteen — I thought it was something dirty, and I was terrified that someone would walk in on me. I also was convinced that I was the ONLY girl in the world who did masturbate and that made me even more ashamed of it. I don't even think I had a word for it the first year or so I was doing it.

In sophomore year, about four close friends of mine were sleeping over at my house, and as these things usually go, we didn't really sleep. Instead, we talked the entire night in my basement. That night, I discovered, to my great surprise, that every single one of my friends masturbated regularly. One of them had been doing it since she was a little kid and was amazed when she heard that I thought it was strange. Another was actively looking for new ways to find orgasms, and another had just recently started and was quite shy about it.

That was several years ago. I don't feel ashamed about masturbation anymore — why should I? There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to feel good — I often find that it relaxes my body and my muscles. It just feels wonderful.

I think that the ignorance and taboo that surrounds female sexuality is a definite problem. It pains me to think of other girls going through all that crap I put myself through because no one ever talks about women masturbating.

March 9, 2006

21042

Alice,

RE: Masturbating stats...

To the 72-year old gentleman, I hope that me and whatever woman I am with when I am 72 have as great of a sex life as you and your wife!! I'm already...

Alice,

RE: Masturbating stats...

To the 72-year old gentleman, I hope that me and whatever woman I am with when I am 72 have as great of a sex life as you and your wife!! I'm already jealous of you. In regards to masturbation though, us guys usually don't talk about that sort of thing, we all know we do it, but we will generally deny it because it's always a topic of joking/fun-poking/insults, etc. All of the girls that I've dated denied that they masturbate, so I think females are very unlikely to admit it in social settings, or even to a partner. To all the women out there, if you like to flick your bean, don't lie about it to your man! Tell him, he won't be disappointed. I personally think a woman who is comfortable enough with her body to masturbate and admit it is very sexy.

September 29, 2005

20977
Dear Alice,

Your assessment is correct in regards to the female's perceived historical roles. But, things are changing! I am 72-years-old and have masturbated all my life. My wife is open-minded...

Dear Alice,

Your assessment is correct in regards to the female's perceived historical roles. But, things are changing! I am 72-years-old and have masturbated all my life. My wife is open-minded, but from a sheltered upbringing, had never masturbated. We have an open and healthy sex life. I started by teaching her how to have an orgasm with my hand, then suggesting she try it. Very reluctant at first, but she did it and enjoyed later. Now she has a vibrator! Every time we have sex is a combination of intromission, masturbation, and sex toys. She is having the best sex of her life with multiple orgasms and free of HANG UPS!

January 24, 2003

20467
Dear Alice, I want to make a comment about MASTURBATING STATS: ARE THERE GENDER DIFFERENCES AND WHY?. I have always been curious about masturbation and what others thought about it. I have talked to...
Dear Alice, I want to make a comment about MASTURBATING STATS: ARE THERE GENDER DIFFERENCES AND WHY?. I have always been curious about masturbation and what others thought about it. I have talked to my friends about it (we're all girls) and it seems that I'm the only one who thinks it's totally normal. Some have said that they thought it was gross and said that masturbation was only ok for guys. These girls aren't religious either, so it's not that kind of thing affecting them. I've talked to my mom about masturbation and she's been really cool about it (she even bought me a vibrator!). Unfortunately, none of the eight people I've talked to about it, besides my mom, think that it's normal. They could have been lying because they were uncomfortable by the question, so I don't know. My best friend and I were talking about it one day and she told me that she wouldn't know how to even start masturbating because she doesn't know where anything is. I gave her a basic anatomy lesson and some tips, so maybe she has become better acquainted with herself by now. I am still so surprised that the general opinion among my friends is that masturbation is bad, gross, dirty, or whatever. Girls, feel free to masturbate! Touch yourself, find out what you like, have a good time. Also, don't worry if you don't orgasm your first couple of tries. I tried sporadically for a few years until I had an epiphany with one of those detachable showerheads. So, fellow females, try, try, try and practice makes perfect. Go and conquer your nether-regions with pride! :)

Masturbation: It's still okay

Dear Reader,

Assuming that by, "relieving oneself," you mean answering sexual urges then masturbation is a great way to experience self-pleasure. There are a lot of myths out there about the harm that masturbation can cause – excess hair growth on your hands, it will ruin “real” sex, or cause insanity – but these are just not true. There are no harmful side-effects to masturbation.

In fact, masturbation has health benefits. Masturbation may:

  • Reduce stress and tension
  • Be a safer sex option to help prevent against pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections (just make sure to clean any toys or objects between uses)
  • Allow you to learn more about your body and what feels good to you
  • Reduce pre-menstrual and menstrual pain and tension in women (if using a tampon, you will want to remove it if you are going to insert an object or toy so it does not get pushed too far into the vagina)
  • Help you fall asleep
  • Be an option for those who don’t want to have vaginal, anal, or oral sex

As long as masturbating is not getting in the way of activities like going to school or work, spending time with friends or family, or eating and sleeping, then there is no harm in masturbating.

Hope this helps,
 

Alice

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