Bed humping = Bad habit?

Originally Published: June 9, 2000 - Last Updated / Reviewed On: March 7, 2003
Share this

Dear Alice,

This is my question, and it's going to sound weird but here it is. I've had a "bed humping" problem for almost three years now. I started when I was less than fourteen, and I can't stop! Neither my mom nor anyone else I know has discovered this yet, but I'm afraid they're going to. This web site seems like the only place that can help me right now. I can't talk to any of my family or friends about it. It would be too embarrassing, and I would be afraid. I need to know if "humping" the bed is abnormal and if other people do it, too. And if there are any health or other risks in doing it. Is what I'm doing a sexual disorder? Am I a weirdo or pervert for doing it? And if it is wrong, how can I make myself stop? I am still a virgin, and I have come close to getting caught before. I need some advice on this. This is the first time I've spoken about this. So please help me!

-Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,

By "bed humping," you no doubt mean masturbating with a little help from your mattress; i.e., rubbing your body/genitals against the bed, or plunging your penis (if you have one) between the mattress and box spring. You can sleep a lot easier knowing that guys and girls have been making love to their mattresses ever since they rolled off the assembly line — this is the way some experience their first orgasms. You're hard and/or randy, it's hard and ready, it's in the privacy of your bedroom, and you spend a third of your life sleeping with it. Are you abnormal? Certainly not! Do you need to introduce your form-fitting friend to anyone else? No. Will you end up marrying your mattress, giving birth to little sleeping bags, and living happily ever after without ever doing it with another human? Highly unlikely. Side effects associated with bed humping might include mattress burn and/or a restricted exit path for your ejaculate if pressure around the penis is king size. Mixing up masturbation methods increases the ways in which a person orgasms by him-/herself and/or with others. And aside from being walked in on, stains might give you guys away, but a tissue, towel, or condom can take care of this when the extra "s" is for semen.

Alice

December 10, 2014

594022
Only today I found out what it was I was doing against my bed. I cant believe other people do it too
Only today I found out what it was I was doing against my bed. I cant believe other people do it too

November 19, 2014

591693
Haha! I've been doing the same thing for many years now. It is so embarrassing but I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one.
Haha! I've been doing the same thing for many years now. It is so embarrassing but I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one.

July 9, 2012

513524
This is hilarious, but thank you so much for writing it. I thought I was alone in my oddness.
This is hilarious, but thank you so much for writing it. I thought I was alone in my oddness.